As my husband and I left the church yesterday, we stopped by a ladies house that had asked for help from the church. He warned me it would not be pretty.
As I entered the house I was struck by a paradox: she had so little but there was so much...
There were piles of bills, papers, receipts, trash, half eaten items, but, really very little of anything substantial such as furniture or large items of any kind.
The place was full yet very empty.
Then as I listened to her and looked at her face I knew she was a very broken person. I imagined her in earlier years, learning, working, dreaming of what was to come. But, somewhere along the way something broke. Chemical imbalance, mental illness, I really don't know her story. I really don't know how she survives.
God is doing a work in me, between the missions opportunities that our ministry gets to begin to participate in, to the community opportunities right around Crossroads, I am becoming burdened for "the least of these". In fact I have to wonder if I am not among the "least of these" in God's eyes as I sit comfortably surrounded by so much, but at times really have so little.
So little in the way of sympathy for others, care about the less fortunate, time given to serve those TRULY in need...God is doing a work in me...I long to be truly full of His grace and love for others, there are people at Crossroads teaching me by their dedicated example of caring that I want to learn from...my husband, our missions team, my children...all our stuff means little if we don't bless others constantly with what we've been given.
There is a movement among churches today to - give it all away, money, food, care, no matter what website I go too there is a buzz about inner city, missions work, food pantries, on and on. I don't want to be caught up in an "American Feel Good Movement". After all, most of what we as Americans do to help others, ultimately is to make ourselves feel good. I don't want to be part of this movement, don't want Crossroads to be part of this movement, but instead dedicated to identified need, a specific opportunity given by Christ and everyday living with an eye for the less fortunate. Our missions team is excellent at identifying specific needs and creating focus for our congregation. A movement within each believer's heart, only then can an affective outward/ministry movement begin.
All of our stuff is on loan from the Lord and He cares deeply about what we do with our abundance. He chooses and calls whom He will to himself, and then I wonder perhaps if He watches closely to see what we do with all we've been given. A sobering thought...I do not want to stand before a disappointed God.
I want to help fix what is broken if He gives me that opportunity. I need however, to have my own house in order, financially and spiritually or the opportunity may come and go...