sad

Earlier today, as I was preparing to iron, I decided to flip through the tv channels - having no idea outside of HGTV what is even on tv on Saturday.

As I began to linger just long enough on each channel to allow the commercial to end, and get an idea of what was on, I started to see things that moved me to tears.

First I saw a glimpse of one of the movies about slavery, turning the show on right as a slave girl was being beaten - I turned it quickly but it was terribly realistic as she begged her 'master' not to hurt her. Next I saw a news report showing violent protests about something and moved on to see horrible models scantly clothed - parading around as if they didn't have an once of self-respect.  I next saw a commercial about a horrible new show coming out soon that further promotes the acceptance of any kind of sexual sin people choose to participate in.

I stood crying in my bedroom - telling the Lord how sorry I was about how sinful our society has become.

I understand I lead a sheltered life in some people's minds, working for the church, surrounded by people that love the Lord.

But I have never been more committed to remain 'sheltered' from the world.

I long to walk righteously before the Lord.  Not with a spirit of criticizing those struggling around me, but with a new determination to try to help those I have contact with to realize what we see on tv, what we watch the world pursue is empty and leads to eternal destruction.

A lady told me recently, "I want what you have", and the responsibility connected to that statement still weighs heavy on my heart.  I cannot handle that kind of watchful expectancy alone and have poured my heart out to my Savior his week and again today, to the only hope this world has, and the only hope this world needs.

'Lord protect my mind, reveal foolish desires that lead me away from you in any way..."

Join me please in sincere focus on heavenly things and not the fleeting folly of our world.

my day off

I decided to write at the beginning of my day off instead of part way or all the way through it for a change.  As I write I see my yard outlined in snow with grass peeking through in the center of the yard.

I feel like that today.  When I woke up Crossroads was heavy on my heart.  I feel like we're peeking out of the greatest change our church has yet known, the loss of Pastor Tim and his family.

Sensing my struggle Vern emerged from the bedroom and crawled up beside me - some things never change!

I'm planning on spending some uninterrupted time today praying for our next pastor.  We need him.  We will be planning an all night prayer/scripture reading vigil at Crossroads soon, I may just camp out there for several days - this will be a really blessed time of prayer and our congregation coming together.

I'm praying that even now our next pastor senses an unrest in his spirit that prepares his heart to move from where he is, but that the transition is as healthy a transition as Pastor Tim's.  I pray we won't take a pastor who's church will fall apart with him gone.  That's actually a sign of a bad leader.

On the other hand, the fact that the day to day work and even tons of new events and opportunities are going to happen this summer with Pastor Tim gone is a testimony to good leadership!  Our congregation has carefully chosen an amazingly strong Elder board and we have a strong staff!  In addition to that our congregation is the most willing to serve and care for our ministry that I have ever seen!

Now all we have to do is go to the Lord with our request for the man He wants Crossroads to have.  (after all, He already has that man chosen!)  I can't think of a better way to spend 'my day off' than this. PLEASE set some dedicated time away from everything today and PRAY!