refilled

If you didn't read my blog yesterday - you may want to start there.  I'm going to write a series of articles about my discovery of how worn-out I've been, both spiritually and physically.

And you can't lead when you aren't where you need to be 'in Him'.

Some people may wonder what horrible mess I'm referring to, I hear all the time that I have the perfect family and life.  They have nothing to do with my own self-care and abiding in Him.  It's not that it has to be a terrible catastrophe to feel separated from the Lord, rather, it's not being as fully emerged in Him as I've been designed by Him to be,  when I'm not surrounded by Him that's what  leaves an unexplainable longing and other things fill my day.

When you get super busy it's easy to just 'stay' there because it's habit and somewhat rewarding, but you soon realize any satisfaction is temporary if you can't evan appreciate the journey - be fully in each moment.

I started each morning of vacation listening to this song (click on the HERE link).  There's only one thing that draws my soul toward Him when I'm studying His Word more than nature, and that's music.  I'm convinced that Kari wrote it just for me!  Please listen to the words when you have time to really Hear them!

HERE

Before I studied each day on vacation, I would listen to this just to focus and get myself ready.  You should try it each morning for a week!  POWERFUL!

When my heart was focused and I stopped crying - I opened the book I will always love called "Soul Keeping".  It is the most powerful - personal book I've read in years.  I received it for attending the "STORY" conference  a couple months ago.  It was worth the cost of the conference to me.

Let me leave you with this today from John's book, he had the privilege to spend time with Dallas Willard a USC professor and a person believers that knew him referred to as a "soul curate".  His deep understanding of the things of the Lord caused John to cry when he spoke of his relationship with God.  When John asked Willard what he needed to do to stay spiritually healthy Willard said,

"You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.  There's nothing else - hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life in our day."

Sounds so simple.  So that's my pursuit - to listen to the Lord.  To be fully present when I have an opportunity to listen to and minister to others He places in my path.  And to not feel one bit guilty for resting more then I have been for a very long time.

Will you join me in this seemingly simple move toward Him?

it's been a while

As some of you may know, we just got home from vacation.

It was the first traveling vacation my husband and I have taken for quite a while.  It was glorious!

Although we had a group of us on the trip - each day everyone did exactly as they pleased and if anyone got bored - there was always a rousing game of euchre or 'oh heck' going on.  I won in euchre but was a disaster in the other.

All that to say, the Lord knew exactly what I needed and He graciously gave it to me.

It's easy to be so busy that you miss your life, your God opportunities, being fully engaged and getting proper rest.  That was the cycle I've been caught in for a while now.  I'm not a victim, I allow it and quite frankly love it.  I love to work and communicate and to see what I can help to create.  But this cycle breeds stress and tiredness.

So as I packed for vacation I knew I had a powerful book or two to take - reading is how I unwind, and I was able to read as much as I wanted to on this trip - couldn't put them down and God used them in a mighty way!  Ortberg is officially one of my favorite authors now!

I want to spend this week writing a little about what I learned each day - I'm still trying to process it all.  As I read I realized I was nearly empty - my soul was weary and begging for focused renewal.

Let me explain this important fact I learned, the difference between busy and hurry from John Ortberg's book.

Being busy is an outward condition - it occurs when we have many things to do.

Being hurried is an inner condition - a condition of the soul.  It means to be so preoccupied with my life that I'm unable to be fully present - unable to occupy this present moment.  I cannot abide in God with a hurried soul.

And I realize I've been hurried for a very long time.  The beginning of the end to hurry started this week - I engaged with my Savior like I haven't for a very long time.  The longing in my heart can only be filled by Him and NOTHING else.  I know all of these things in my head - but my heart, my soul was not satisfied with all the hurry so I really want to continue taking steps in abiding...

For a number of years I've claimed I Corinthians 9:26 & 27 as my life verses and one of the books I read on vacation talked about how important having a life verse is - so here are mine.

Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way as not to beat the air;
but, I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.

Who would have thought that one of the greatest lack of disciplines we could have is to hurry? 

what I learned today

I'm reading John Ortberg's book - Soul Keeping.  I love it.

He poses so many questions about our soul - that really make me think, and pray.

One question is "Does soul require suffering to make itself known?  Doesn't that just make your mind spin?

The reporting of all the violence, of apparent freedom slipping out of our fingers, especially as believers, makes me fearful if I let it.   It captures my soul, if I let it.  Before I read the above quote I was laying in bed the other night wondering if physical suffering will be required of me down the road due to a loss of freedom.  The enemy loves to make me fearful.

You can worry about the future continuously to the point it controls everything you do, or you can trust Him.

Matthew 6:25 & 26
 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[a]?

Actually the opposite is true - we can LOSE single hours of our life by worrying!  Stress kills!  God designed us and He knew to live in optimum physical and mental health - we cannot worry - we need to rest in Him always.  He designed us to need Him.

Our soul is a mystery to us, but it's funny how you KNOW it exists.   I've often said  - my soul is weary!

It's interesting how many examples of references to our soul that even secular movies and advertising use to connect with us.

I guess it's definitely true, a God shaped hole exists in all of us - even the people who don't acknowledge it react to things that touch them deeply!

Care for your soul today, rest in Him!