emotional overdrive

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm ok.

Although over the past few weeks and months I've experienced many emotions, the one that dominates all others is a sense of peace.

A complete confidence in a daughter's Godly dependance and trust in the Lord has given us the peace that only comes from God.  Of course we would rather have them all here with us, but we believe they are exactly where God called them to be.

Here are a few pictures that may visually explain the emotional ride...

Engagement photo shoot on "the farm"

One of the final weekends leading Student Ministry worship

God created a new family!

Other loved ones celebrated - Jocelyn got to say a few words at their wedding

Trinity's dedication at Crossroads

rehearsing for the Night of Worship recording

Night of Worship recording with area leaders

Trinity finished up MCS soccer

Joci lead at Night of Worship

Staff farewell lunch for Joci

Farewell dessert at Whitts - these 3 love icecream

final cousin hugs

We tied prayers of farewell and blessings on the balloons and released them following prayer.

Family farewell prayer and blessing

Jocelyn ended her time at Crossroads well...I can't imagine what is more important than that.  I thank the Lord for a church that walked right beside Jocelyn through the toughest times.  Thank you for your prayers Crossroads and the blessings that follow them!

Words from her pastor that will remain with her forever!

So yes, I sit here missing our mother-daughter time together, but have learned a lot the last couple  years about God's faithfulness and trust that I wouldn't have understood any other way.  

I am resting in such peace that I can celebrate God's provision and the next amazing chapter of a new, Godly family whose daily lives will be pointing others toward the Savior simply by how they trust. love one another and just how they live.  And I really, really am very good!  

Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again. God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful. (1 Thessalonians 5: 23, 24)

my day off

These have been a remarkable few days.

From the certainty of my dad's passing, even medical professionals certain of it - to a family birthday party just a week later with dad comfortable in his own home....what a week it has been!

Dad is still very fragile - and exhausted easily - but very comfortable and for that I am more thankful then I can possibly say!  And because he's doing better right now, we headed over tonight.

We celebrated our daughter Jocelyn's birthday.

Every time another year passes I love her more.  I am SO thankful for the ability to live close by and to have such a close relationship with her.  She inspires me each time we talk and challenges me to be better and to consider new things.

She wanted to be with her grandpa tonight for her birthday, and I am praising the Lord for that opportunity!  She loves him.

It's been a roller coaster ride the past week and a half - but it was a special birthday evening for her.  An evening none of us took for granted - an evening although extremely simple - we won't soon forget!

Our last devotions

Our last devotions

Cambodia,I John 5:14-15,hope,Matthew 21:21-22

Hard to believe it's our final devotions with Jocelyn and Aaron... Such conflicting feelings 

Our teaching today is on the discipline of HOPE.

  We talked about the fact that we left a lot of our burdens and conflict behind and now we face going back home...

We can choose to hold onto things and remain in hopelessness or cling to hope.

Psalm 55:22.  The promise of sustaining hope in The Lord!  Our burdens were never mine in the first place.

It's always an issue of a lack of trust in The Lord or in the body of Christ.

I John 5:14 & 15.  Confidence in Him .  To pray is to change.

Matthew 21:21&22

Nothing could ever be too bad to take to God.   Anxiety is not even mine to bare.

Jocelyn said , " my greatest opportunity to share Christ here is the hope The Lord offers.  They are a hopeless society who for the most part chooses not to move out of their hopelessness because they know no alternative,"

This has been a profound experience!  Life changing.  

An English lesson

We got to watch an English class on the Campus of Asia's Hope being taught by Jocelyn this morning.  The way the kids love learning is so rewarding to watch.  A simple sticker was all the reward needed to encourage them to work hard.  They are just amazing to watch!!

my day off

This weekend was one of the very first weekend's I've taken off from Crossroads in 15 years and just spent the day at home.  Although I have to admit the reason I took the week off was in case my mom needed me additional nights following her surgery last week.  She didn't, so I just watched our services from home.  We are blessed with amazing praise and tech teams indeed!

Today I just have a few cards to finish and I continue the journey through time by capturing all my family's videos on my computer to create DVDs for Christmas for everyone.

Brother, talk about reliving the past!

God blessed us by making it possible for us to sell our first little house and purchase a double that we could rent one side of - allowing me to be home with our kids.  This was priceless.

Day after day I could let them sleep in, and run around the house in pjs or just diapers.  I video taped a whole lot!   As I watched videos of Eric chattering and laughing as a 2 yr. old in the tub, and listened as Jocelyn sang her way through every room of the house, memories came flooding back.  My life is moving fast.  And my kids are moving even faster!

I ache for lost friends that ONLY have this life.  That only have these memories.

All of us that God has extended grace to in the form of a Savior, we are the blessed ones.  We understand that this is temporary in a very good way, not sad way.  We live life to the fullest not in the way the world does - but using our memories, our past good or bad,  to grow closer to Him and move toward Him.

As I write my final few Christmas cards this morning, that's what Merry Christmas means to me.

The future, not the past.

proudness

I guess there are some forms of proud that are ok - like the kind I feel about my friends and my kids.  I decided to post what Aaron and Jocelyn wrote this week - please pray for them - enjoy.

Jocelyn:

It is my distinct pleasure to announce that music lessons have finally begun on campus!
We purposely waited to begin these music classes until the 2013-2014 school year began here in Battambang so we could match the classes with the the students’ class schedules, and due to starting school in mid-October, followed by a week off due to flooding, the classes are just starting now.
We are beginning with private lessons in guitar, bass guitar, drums and piano. Between Aaron and myself, we have just under 100 students. Each student receives their own notebook and each lesson (1 per week) he or she receives new music and lesson sheets to add to their folders, creating their very own music books over time!
After solidifying the private lesson schedules over the next week or two (because here it takes some time for things to really cement), we will add the last remaining classes: beginners music class (ages 5-10) and music composition.
We will also spend time with the worship band and worship team, helping them grow as a musical ensemble and in the realm of worship leading.
The music composition class really is close to the heart of why we believe music education here is so important. It is our dream and desire to equip the Asia’s Hope students to not only be able to teach each other (and thus be sustainable after we are gone) but also to take the innovative plunge of creating their own original music and ultimately playing a role in shaping their rebuilding culture.
The key to inspiring them to do this is to make sure they are the ones behind the wheel of creativity. But one week into lessons, and I feel like my dreams are already being a reality. As one of our female students left her private lesson, she shared with Aaron how each of her friends are learning different instruments, and that now they want us to teach them how to be in a band. :)
Creativity is already appearing. By the end of the year, who knows what we will have!!

Aaron:

 The last several weeks have been a blur as Jocelyn and I have been teaching English classes and preparing for the music program. We have purchased some new equipment and instruments. We have also refurbished some old equipment and instruments, like the old drum set in this photo.

Next week we begin to teach private music lessons in small groups of four children. We’ll be teaching basic guitar, piano, drums, and bass. In addition, we’ll be identifying capable students to recruit for our music theory and ear training course as well as our music composition course.

I’m finishing the last year of my bachelors degree in Biblical Studies through Indiana Wesleyan University while in Cambodia. Every week I do a substantial study of a portion of the bible. This week, my assignments centered around the book of Leviticus. Though we often read about the Mosaic Law from the perspective of the Israelites, when we consider what it reveals to us about God we are left with an astounding (though perhaps obvious) truth: Yahweh is holy. The Law reveals a holy God that desires intimacy with unholy man. That became powerful for me this week when I realized that the story between Yahweh and man has not changed. Yahweh has always desired obedience from man so that He could be with man. I have made the mistake from time to time of thinking that the old covenant (the law) and the new covenant (the grace of Jesus) were opposing covenants. But for Yahweh, grace is not the opposite of law, but an associate. Yahweh desires us to cooperate with the grace of Jesus, as He desired the Israelites to cooperate with the Mosaic Law. But instead of a system of sacrifice and holy ethics, we cooperate with the Holy Spirit.

All of that to say, Yahweh is reminding me of my story, by reminding me of humanities story. We were designed to be in communion with Him. Yahweh becoming Jesus was the ultimate revelation of his desire to be with us and that incarnation should elicit a response of obedience, or rather a desire to share that intimacy.

So these are my prayers and I ask that you will join me in them: Pray that Jocelyn and I would listen to the Holy Spirit leading us while in Cambodia, that obedience would bring us into Yahweh’s presence, and that He would make us holy by His presence. Pray for our students, brothers and sisters, here that we can find time to teach all that wish to learn and that their studying would leave a lasting impact on their lives and therefore in their culture. Pray for our energy, that the cultural fatigue would diminish and we would find time to refresh each day.

I have two daughters

Senghong is my youngest daughter's name. She lives in Battambang, Cambodia. I wish I could take her home with me. We have had the privilege of providing financially for her for the past 2 years. She calls us mommy and daddy when she sees us or emails us. If God allows we would love to provide for her for as long she needs us - even through the University.

I have also fallen deeply in love with her baby sister and brother. Actually even if I could take them home with me I wouldn't, I would be doing Cambodia a huge disservice. They need them here, they can change this place, I cannot.

Knowing we would come today, a tiny open air church sent their people out to invite 70 men, women and children from 'the village' to come to the church to hear God's Word for the first time. The Gospel was proclaimed and the faithful church members gathered information in order to visit and follow up with the families that began their walk with the Lord today. Senghong was one of the actors in the powerful musical skit we used at Easter a couple of years ago at Crossroads. Amazing how drama and music crosses all language barriers, especially when children perform it. And amazing that God has chosen to use orphans to lead the lost to Himself.

And then it was time to leave these precious believers as they stood with the coconuts in hand that they had chopped open for us to drink. Coconuts were all they had to offer us, and they couldn't have given us anything more generous.

Back in the vans my daughter fell asleep on my shoulder as we rode on to a lake. Leaning against my shoulder I steadied her head with my hand so it would not dip forward. I watched her as she slept and I knew she truly was my daughter just as Jocelyn is my daughter. Jocelyn and Eric both used to sleep as Senghong did today - comforted in the fact that while they slept I stayed awake caring for them.

The ride today was a step back in time. A time when our children required our constant personal care and carefree days in the water. Each important.

And today the graciousness of the Lord allowed us to play a small part in the eternity of people we will never see again...and that in itself could be my life purpose fulfilled.