the day goes by

It doesn't take long for the euphoria of ministering to children who love you unconditionally to give-way to the rapid pace of moving forward.

I've lost the wonder of those eyes somewhere deep within the pile of my papers and folders…  I need them back again.

They've been replaced by many emergencies and plans and amazing things, it's just that I'm moving too fast to really see them.  I must slow the day…


Therein lies the battle - should I celebrate when the first time I look at the clock it's 4:40 p.m. - another day closer to eternity?

Or do I mourn the loss of yet another day.   It all depends on the content.

Today's frantic-ness was composed of mostly unschedule meetings, but they were meetings with people I value and people I do life with and people I respect.  These impromptu meetings lead to care for people, plans in place, and a few tears.  Things and people that make up my life.

It never fails when I take 2 steps forward in leadership - learning and striving for more excellence, I feel the push back from the enemy.  What is the Lord trying to teach me - I think I'm open - I don't think anything is in the way that He needs to remove?  But, I must be wrong because the push is hard.

And so tonight I lay my life in His hands, I ask for continued leading and direction on my life and this leads to praise I cannot stop.  How much, very much I have to be grateful for, I become overwhelmed by Him - covered by Him - and now I sleep in Him.


the day goes by...

friends

I can't imagine my life without my friends!

I got to spend the past 2 days with 3 friends that I love dearly!  We have eaten at least 20,000 calories each and spoken 1,000,000,000 words each.  And we're not done yet!

I am a blessed woman.

I know some people feel like they don't have friends, I would encourage you to put yourself in any situation or gathering that would give you opportunity to talk with people - and pray for Godly friends that can fill your life!  God did not intend that we would do life alone!

There are most definitely times that we need to pray and study and reflect on God's Word alone, and times to rest and withdraw.  But, the church was intended to be the place where we gather to be with one another, to get to know one another and to grow spiritually closer to God.  We'll spend eternity together - our lives here are what comes before that eternal time, and I want all my friends to be there with me!  An eternal celebration and worship service - that sounds fantastic to me!

I love all my friends - the different life experiences we share - and the anticipation with which we face our future together in Him!

life is precious

As I read Michael Sparks obituary this morning, it was a description of a Godly man who lived for Christ but at age 43, God decided He needed him in heaven.

That's tough to understand when it seemed that Michael was so needed down here, our understanding is so limited.

Today I am with my dad down in Columbus as he has a heart procedure.  Imagine that, looking into the human heart...amazing.

If God chooses it can be a fairly simple procedure solved with stents and he'll be home for Easter.

But it sure makes you look at the incredibly short time we all have here.  A time during which if we follow the Lord carefully, obediently we can be used to affect eternity.  If we live for gain, if we abide in our own strength and goals then it's all a waste.  No amount of money, or status, or beautiful homes, or exotic vacations, or fancy job mean ANYTHING outside of His will mean nothing.

Obviously God places some of us in extraordinary positions of influence, those people have been given the ability to influence and help others.

My dad has lived one of the most consistent lives I've ever watched.  Never straying from God, never straying from our family, never straying from hard work.  He still cuts hair and visits with customers 4 out of 5 days a week in Ashland.  He also sits at a cousins chain-saw business where he talks to everyone and catches up on what's going 1 time each week.  In the midst of heart issues he's selling and moving away from his home of 46 years to move into a condo in town where everything is on one level and they are closer to everything they need.  On paper it looks logical, but it doesn't make it easy.  I am proud of them for taking steps to make the future easier on them!

Love those around you and hold them a little closer today.  And make sure you use this day for eternity not for the temporary.

my day off

Today was quite the mixture of things...

First - camp out of sorts in our son's living room Sunday night which allowed us to work all evening and into the wee hours of the morning on his new house.  5 hours later the alarm announced it was time to get up much to our disappointment!

Following a quick trip to Lowe's and McDonalds - it was back to work we went.  My assignment, to remove 5 distinct layers of flooring in the current kitchen - soon to become an elegant 'sitting room', so that the current kitchen can be relocated in the former dining room...oh well, you get the idea - everything is shifting!  At 4:30 we called it quits and began to make our way to the car because we were supposed to be at a suitcase packing party at Crossroads by 7:00.  An hour later (delayed by a few last project details) we drove toward home!

Needless to say, we were late to the packing party - but arrived with plenty yet to do!

How exciting to watch as everyone worked to make sure every orphan would be getting and even amount of gifts!  I cannot wait to see the look on their faces when they open up all that the generous gifts that their Crossroads parents selected just for them!

With suitcases packed and organized, we each stood next to our assigned 'extra' 50 lb bag just to make sure everyone was clear on what they were responsible to get through the airport - checked in and safely to the hotel in Cambodia!  My husband and I had 3 - 50 lb bags with our names on them.  This was due to the fact that Ron assured the leaders that we could fit everything we were taking in just one 50 lb bag...  This is yet to be seen because I honestly think I have 50 lbs of just candy laying at home waiting to be packed, let alone my personal belongings!  We will see!!

Now after an exhausting 2 days I must sleep in preparation for our trip.  Please pray for all of us as we travel to work with the orphans and participate in out-reaches in Cambodia that we pray bring new believers into the Kingdom of our Lord, brothers and sisters for eternity in another land!

feeling old

There are things that make me feel old.

I no longer like to ride the rides at the Cedar Point Amusement Park.

I now split meals with my husband when we go out to eat.

I switch to decaf after only 2 cups of coffee and I like naps, a lot!

They say you are as young as you feel.  I no longer like this saying.

I am in no way afraid to grow old.

I like the idea of saying anything that comes to mind, and people expect and accept it.

I look forward to wearing whatever I want regardless of season or for the matter era.

I cannot wait to stick artificial flowers in my outside pots and never pull another weed.

Anyway, time moves on BUT there is still as much to look forward to now as ever!  I have often said, I have no idea how anyone without the Lord faces the future and old age.  It would be hopeless.  But, in Him we have eternity.  An eternity with real flowers and no weeds!

I have two daughters

Senghong is my youngest daughter's name. She lives in Battambang, Cambodia. I wish I could take her home with me. We have had the privilege of providing financially for her for the past 2 years. She calls us mommy and daddy when she sees us or emails us. If God allows we would love to provide for her for as long she needs us - even through the University.

I have also fallen deeply in love with her baby sister and brother. Actually even if I could take them home with me I wouldn't, I would be doing Cambodia a huge disservice. They need them here, they can change this place, I cannot.

Knowing we would come today, a tiny open air church sent their people out to invite 70 men, women and children from 'the village' to come to the church to hear God's Word for the first time. The Gospel was proclaimed and the faithful church members gathered information in order to visit and follow up with the families that began their walk with the Lord today. Senghong was one of the actors in the powerful musical skit we used at Easter a couple of years ago at Crossroads. Amazing how drama and music crosses all language barriers, especially when children perform it. And amazing that God has chosen to use orphans to lead the lost to Himself.

And then it was time to leave these precious believers as they stood with the coconuts in hand that they had chopped open for us to drink. Coconuts were all they had to offer us, and they couldn't have given us anything more generous.

Back in the vans my daughter fell asleep on my shoulder as we rode on to a lake. Leaning against my shoulder I steadied her head with my hand so it would not dip forward. I watched her as she slept and I knew she truly was my daughter just as Jocelyn is my daughter. Jocelyn and Eric both used to sleep as Senghong did today - comforted in the fact that while they slept I stayed awake caring for them.

The ride today was a step back in time. A time when our children required our constant personal care and carefree days in the water. Each important.

And today the graciousness of the Lord allowed us to play a small part in the eternity of people we will never see again...and that in itself could be my life purpose fulfilled.

cars

We have 4 drivers in our family. Two cars so old they are about to fall apart - one without brakes, one driven off the edge of the road by a friend and now not running right, one with a crunched parking lot 'not our fault' back-end and one that is fine. I HATE taking care of cars!

We are constantly trying to figure out when it is no longer worth investing more in repairs, yet the alternative is buying another one - that is even worse!

Sometimes I feel like the people around me are in similar shape. Some are beat up by life, some need replaced parts and a few look good, at least on the outside. It is hard to judge who needs us the most, who to invest our time in and sometimes if there is anything God can even use us to do for them at all. A difficult balance but one we must seek.

Time spent serving others will last for eternity - long after our cars have turned to rust!

God's will

All my friends care deeply about God's will for their lives. We all talk about being in His will or our lives would be wasted!

So question...if this is how we are to spend our lives, seeking God's will, then why is it so hard to find? Or is it?

Maybe it is as simple as being in the Bible and in prayer, listening to wise counsel from trusted more mature believers, being willing to walk through doors the Holy Spirit reveals to us, watching for opportunities He provides to use the abilities He has gifted us with. It isn't about us "doing things" to discover God's will, but rather to remain in Him, being content even in times that feel like He is not revealing Himself to us.

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” Philippians 1:6

Being in God's will may be the closest peak at eternity with Him that we get. Worth the pursuit!

new endings

While most of our attention is on new beginnings in this new year, endings also take place.

My Uncle passed away this morning, just 25 minutes into the new year. So, while things begin, resolutions, plans, the first newborn of the year, families celebrate the new year, some experience endings.

Christmas night he sat in my moms living room and opened 'white elephant' gifts with us, today he is gone.

This ending is final, no second chances, no time to try something new, an ending that we all must face. But, this ending is also a beginning - the beginning of eternity apart from this life.

Eternity: 1. infinite time; duration without beginning or end.

Infinite time...that is overwhelming. Although we think in terms of eternity beginning when we die, the definition says it has no beginning or end. So today as my uncle passed eternity simply continued. Unaffected. As he is celebrating in the thrown room of heaven, eternity with no beginning or end moves on. Completely depressing for those who have to eternal hope in Christ, just another day in God's eternal perspective...a child done with his journey...a new ending.