ironing

I love freshly ironed clothing.

I unfortunately - based on our current schedule, had allowed my ironing to really pile up.  It was one of those evenings a couple days ago, when all that was on TV was election junk, so I headed upstairs.

I think the reason I enjoy ironing is that it has a beginning and an ending, and most of my work feels like it doesn't.

I took my laptop with me and decided to re-listen to Pastor Dave's heaven and hell teachings. Crossroads Messages

Even though I almost always sit clear up-front during 1 service a weekend, it's really difficult to ever fully stop evaluating and making suggestions for improvement creatively, technically and musically.   So although I sit down - I don't 'take it all in', like I should.

I was really, really challenged more than any other messages in a long time as I listened.   Dave's challenge to long for heaven to spend eternity in Christ's presence felt like a brand new challenge. He said it should be the main thing we long for, to simply be in the presence of Jesus forever.

Sitting under this kind of teaching makes me understand that I had several pastors growing up, that seemed to focus on sending us home each weekend feeling guilty about our lives.  Not redeemed, not saved, not secure - guilty...not good enough.

So I have to admit, when taking the time to carefully examine my heart, most of my thinking related to 'excepting Christ', was feeling not worthy on my own to get to heaven, which of course is true.   And because I was scared to death of hell.  We were asked weekly, "Are you SURE you're saved, are you POSITIVE you've been forgiven", even though we didn't believe you could lose your salvation - they asked weekly.

I see now how our enemy can even use well intentioned good men to lead us away from a personal longing to understand and know our Savior more and more.  Instead it can turn into nothing more then a 'get out of hell' pass.

He created me to BE WITH HIM, not worry about doing things well enough, bank accounts and the future - but to understand that as a child of His I will ONLY find satisfaction in Him...

I want to know Him more - to ask for understanding of who He is, and to honestly believe what I'm doing now - my amazing family - all these blessings He's given me are all to use for eternal accomplishment.  In a blink of an eye we'll move on, and that's not a negative thing.  I want it to nurture a longing that can only be satisfied by Him.

It shouldn't be shocking that God allows dramatic things to happen to us, removing all 'the stuff' that clogs our ability to focus on Him.  Especially as Americans, it's nearly impossibly to see our deep eternal need of Him through all of our appointments, purchases and self-sufficiencies, but I want to know Him at a level that makes heaven the longing of my heart.  Pouring into only heaven worthy things and attitudes.  I am very thankful that truth is taught clearly and bravely at Crossroads without guilting us into obedience!

Who would have thought ironing my hubby's shirts could be used of God to open my eyes and catch just a tiny glimpse of what He really wants from me?  What awaits for me!

May your day be filled with heaven-longings and a new, deep knowledge of Christ- and maybe a little ironing!

weekend report

It was a beautiful weekend studying what the Lord has told us about heaven in our "Final Destination" series.

We worshipped, studied and shared communion together - it was good to be in the house of the Lord!

Preparing communion behind the scenes

Milo did a great job on There Will Be A Day

Our setlist:

Announcements

"Word on Heaven" video intro

There Will Be A Day

Message:  Final Destination Pt. 2: Word on Heaven - Lead Pastor Dave Vance

Here In Your Presence
Good Good Father
At The Cross (Love Ran Red) - Congregation takes Communion
Unbroken Praise

To watch our services go to crossroadswired.com

To see what other ministries are using go to theworshipcommunity.com

I'm a little less whole

Yesterday and all the past years of my life, my dad was a huge part of me.  This morning as he passed I felt just a little less whole.   Like something is missing now.

I am so thankful I got to be with him non-stop over the past few weeks.  But, it's been very difficult to watch the man I grew up in love with, shrink away before my very eyes.

This father of mine was strong and independent and suddenly in 3 weeks time became totally dependent on others.  All decision making was removed from him as he had doctors telling him what he had to do next and squads moving him from hospital to Hospice to home to Hospice..people bathing him and medicating him, I could hardly stand to watch all privacy and dignity be taken from him.

But, even as he was taken from the home he loved - he treated everyone kindly, his sarcastic humor had never been sharper and the stories that were told will be remembered forever by all that participated! And oh how he talked of the Lord - a testimony to the end!

Everyone had different ways of saying goodbye - I found myself even today as he took his final breaths stroking his arm and then kissing his head goodbye.  Both things were something I'm not sure I've ever done before.  But it's all I could do as we assured him it was ok to go to be with Jesus.

Later in his empty bedroom today, I started to go through pictures in preparation for the funeral and physically saw the little things he had that were important to him.   Simple things, things he's touched in the past, things I now need to hold for a little while.  These things all left behind.

This I know with more certainty then ever in my life - he is not in that coffin -  he has been welcomed into His Saviors arms!

All his hardships and all disappointments have faded, and all longings have been fulfilled with just one glimpse of Yahweh!  He probably fell on the ground in breathtaking amazement of God Almighty!

I loved him fiercely, and he encouraged me endlessly so I'm perhaps less whole without him.  But I think any loss, any trial, drives us to long more and more to be present with Jesus ourselves!  And only then - in heaven's glory will I too feel the glorified fulfillment that my dad experienced at 10:27 a.m. this morning.

saying goodbye

I was at Gary Harris' calling hours today, it was a very artistic, peaceful setting at the front of the Crossroads auditorium.  A beautiful tribute to a deeply loved man.  But as beautiful as everything was, I found myself standing there wondering what kind of beautify Gary was witnessing right now.

We often think of heaven in regard to the 'streets of gold' and joke about 'the least among us' having the largest mansion!  But I wonder instead if the breath-taking beauty of God Himself will so overwhelm the entirety of heaven that it's not objects we see or care about like gold, but instead experience for the first time complete satisfaction and peace as we join in everlasting worship of Him?  Maybe His essence so eliminates everything around Him, that it appears as streets of gold and gems…

As I left the calling hours, I heard Forever Reign on the radio, I love in particular one line from this song, where it says "my heart will sing no other name…Jesus, Jesus…"

This is the song being sung in heaven - Jesus, Jesus...

We will worship again one day with our departed loved ones who knew Jesus as Savior - I only wish we had the ability in our current bodies to understand just a small portion of His Glory and what awaits us.  If we did -  I don't think we could remain as we are...

thinking about heaven

Tonight as I was driving home from spending time running some errands, I was thinking about heaven.   I sometimes wish I could have just a glimpse.

I imagine it is completely beyond anything my mind could even handle.

In fact all I have to do is look at some of God's amazing creation to get excited about what will surround us up there!

I suspect these earthly creations are nothing compared to what we'll some day see!

Our God is amazing, never ending, never beginning, creative, Father and someday we will step into that glorious home He's created just for us....forever!

walk on the beach

As I walked along the beach recently I was overcome by the variety of designed creation I saw in the sand. Every shape and color of shell, small pieces of stone with really cool holes and crevices and lots of scurrying critters running around.

Why would God place these things even under the water where most of the time we cannot see them? He is creative, he cares about details and He longs for us to worship Him- the creator of the universe!

While I walked on the beach I worshiped - it took my breath away! I want to ask Him to explain the act of creation to me some day when I get to heaven...this may sound corny but I am very serious. I cannot wait!