after 54 years

You would think after 54 years I would have a ton of self control and maturity.  I swear sometimes I feel like I'm going backward!

This week I have experienced the full range of emotions and opportunities to react in a Godly manner and have failed miserably in several cases.

I can only assume this calls for more dedicated time to study and to be quiet and listen instead of endlessly giving my opinion and adding constant comments.  Deep in my heart I honestly don't believe that I know it all - not even close to what I should know.  And yet I feel free to share what I think and try to control situations instead of just waiting on the Lord.

I sometimes can't hear Him through all my chatter...

And still He chose to bless my week!

*Despite all my noise He brought me unexpected gifts this week.
     A friend stopped by the church and said I was on her mind and gave me a beautiful unexpected gift!

*He gave me new offers of help and serving in the ministry.
     Friends that already serve decided to bless our staff with the offer of lunch once a month!
     Another friend serving in my area said his son was now interested in getting involved!

*He gave me a great outcome to one difficult situation.
      God blessed me with quick results from what started out difficult.  Some times it may take tons of           time before we have understanding about why something happened.  This week God allowed me to see amazing resolution quickly!  I saw the 'why' right away!

*I received approval for a creative event I hope to plan for next year.
      This feeds my creativity.  I am thankful for these opportunities!



My prayers for several years now have been simple to the Lord.

Reveal has been the word I have used more times than I can possibly count.

-In regard to myself:  Reveal my sin Lord
                                  Reveal how you want me to spend my life.  (I beg Him almost daily)

-Where I see brothers and sisters walking away from the Lord:  Reveal their wrongs Lord

-In regard to our ministry:  Reveal my leadership weakness Lord - never let me lead someone away from you...  I'm not sure anything scares me more than the thought of someone watching me.  How I act, how I work, how I live and walking away from the Lord because of me...

After 54 years I am still learning, I am still failing and I am still in desperate need of my Savior every single day.  The biggest change in me?  My desire for relationship with Him grows every single year.  And every passing year I move one year closer to an eternal audience before Him!!!

my day off

All clothing $1.00 at the Hospice Thrift store today.

That was an exciting way to start my day off!  I hit it right when it opened got 2 coats, an Express pair of jeans and corduroy skirt and shirt for my daughter, and 2 other tops for $7.00!  I then found a vintage expresso machine for $10.00 that is listed on Ebay with a starting bid of $79.00!  Not a bad start to a day off!

I continued by running additional errands with my mother in law including SAMS Club where I found a pair of sandals for $4.81!  (can you tell how much I LOVE deals!)  We then had a luxurious breakfast at Mansfield Resturant and then back home for a short while.

I quickly started to cook 3 meals to have in fridge to get my hubby and me through the rest of the week without cooking again!  Well worth the time it takes and the mess it makes!  Then it was off to the Coffee House!

This evening I lead a drama team meeting while the Coffee House at Crossroads rocked out with amazing music and fabulous coffee and coffee cake from Buckeye Bakery - SOOO good!

It was an evening when I got to see a plan come together before my eyes.

The Coffee House was to be a place where community happens and it DID!  A gentleman I didn't know even asked me for a visitors packet from the iCenter which I gladly provided!  Who knows what doors into people's lives this will open for us.

Crossroads Actors busy planning

Packed house

Fever Fever - excellent (can you see the actors in the background goofing around?)

Jen Irwin hard at work on her November Crossroads Art Show - 'Vessel' art project

The Coffee House was brimming full of creatives and coffee drinkers and excited young adults eager to hear the bands that played.  People enjoyed the coffee and one another and in the process everyone fellowshipped and was encouraged and for a few hours we were our own little community of artists, and actors and musicians and coffee enthusiasts! And it was good, very good!

weekend report

It was good, so good!

I love the services at Crossroads.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't on staff just so I could walk in and just see what God has waiting!

The entire service this weekend was well planned and well executed by men and women of God, leading us in worship and leading us in teaching - and I was SO thankful to be part of it.

Soooo thankful for everyone that worked so hard and was used of God in mighty ways!

Our setlist:

Leah Hart - opening welcome video/announcements

God Be Praised/Our God Reigns
Oh How Sweet - Crossroads original by Austin Hart
Forever Reign - Hillsong
Revelation Song - Gateway
Holy Is The Lord - Tomlin
Message:  Systematic Theology Pt 4 - Tim Armstrong
Ending worship:  Holy Is the Lord - Tomlin

To watch our services on Monday go to www.crossroadswired.com

To see what other ministries used in their services go to www.theyworshipcommunity.com

beautiful things

Today I saw beautiful things.

I began my day working with one of the most dedicated worship leaders I have every known.  Dan.

His heart to lead God's people to the throne in worship is so evident every time I talk with him.  We worked on the next worship package of music today, our congregation will get to participate in this worship package in a few weeks, they will be blessed.

As I drove around early this afternoon I saw an entire field of sunflowers.  The sun was shining on them brightly and they were breathtaking!  My hubby was driving and talking on the phone so we didn't stop, I'll have to get him to stop tomorrow.  They were beautiful!

And finally I get to spend the evening with good friends.  In friendships I find unequaled beauty!

God reveals himself in an endless variety of beautiful places, and people and friends.  He is good all the time!

another day gone

Looking back over my day I wondered, what did I do that was important or enduring?

Aaron doing pour-overs outside!

I began by hurrying around to prepare for a table at NC State's business fair.  Crossroads had been invited to have a table because we are an NC State internship location.

The boys took charge at NC State!

We had opportunities to advertise the Coffee House as well as invite people to Crossroads. The Coffee House is already accomplishing what we had hoped for, a place for people to gather and experience community!  Aaron handed out flyers for this Monday nights concert to very interested students.   Many people took information about the church as well as internships and coffee coupons.

This was the first time in as long as I can remember that I had a chance to be out in the community during a work day, really talking about our ministry and inviting people to come. Today one person after another came to us to talk about Crossroads!  It was awesome!

God's summer bounty!

Next, I returned to the church for a few hours of work then I headed to my family's house for dinner in Ashland.

My dad and Ron look so serious but, my dad just
had not reached the punch line yet!

Tonight was special, we got to spend time with a nephew who had moved out and had not been with family for a while.  He called each of us this week to say he was coming home and wanted to spend time with us - so we had a huge blessing being back together tonight!  Even better than my mom's butterscotch pie!

My dad turns even a heart felt prayer into a time of muffled giggles and hurried eye closing as he begins to pray (intentionally) while everyone is still talking.  It's always anyones' guess whether he didn't hear us talking or is once again just being ornery!

Although another day is gone, I end it with thanksgiving on my lips to my Savior.  His love for me is evident in allowing me to be part of a ministry that impacts so many lives.  And I am so grateful for being around long enough to see the next generation rise up to continue the ministry, perhaps stronger than the last.

And then at the end of my day to be surrounded by family that make me laugh hysterically and that love me and have personal relationships with God.  It wasn't just another day - it was a God-filled blessed day!

my day off

I have little sentences and statements and thoughts written everywhere.

Today I ran across one that really made me think.  I have no idea where it came from, but it's profound.

"Christ is glorified as perishing people become eternally satisfied in Him."

Whoa!

Picture perishing people - no matter what the circumstance and the contrast of moving from suffering or perishing to eternal satisfaction?

I cannot imagine a bigger contrast.

Eternal satisfaction.

I stay satisfied for hours and perhaps more accurately minutes at a time.  How this must break the heart of God.  Contentment in this world is completely impossible.

sat·is·fied/ˈsatisˌfīd'

Adjective:

Contented; pleased.

Am I?  Are You?

weekend report

We are in week 2 of Pastor Tim's Systematic Theology series.  The teachings have been amazing and our congregation is so anxious to be here for the entire series!

OUR SETLIST:

I really looked forward to using 3 of our own originals on this weekend's list!

Praises To The King - written by one of our worship pastors - Milo Sgambellone
Everlasting God -  Brewster
Yaweh - Tomlin
Beautiful Mighty - (our own) Chris Draper
Your Love Is Amazing - Milo Sgambellone
Awesome God - (shortened)  Hillsong
Video Intro:   Leah Hart
Systematic Theology Pt. 2 - Senior Pastor Tim Armstrong
Exit Song:  Awesome God

To watch our services on Monday go to www.crossroadswired.com

 To see what other ministries used in their worship services this weekend go to www.theworshipcommunity.com

I really wish...

I really wish the election was over and all the adds were gone forever!

I really wish I had absolutely NO bills at all so I could bless others more.  (we are working on that!)

I really wish there was time for me to launch even more groups and lead them!

I really wish I could remember to act on my God given intuition instead  of second guessing myself.

I really wish I could remember.

I really wish I could be more creative.

I really wish I could be more confident.

I really wish my parents could stay as healthy as they are and not get any older ever!

I really wish Ohio weather forecasts could be trusted!

I really wish I could communicate better.


There is no purpose in wishing.  Just wishing does nothing to move toward the goal.  I thought it might be a good exercise to write these down - and then to take steps to accomplish them, well, at least the ones that are within my ability.



.....what do you wish for?

....what are you doing to make them come true?

art shows

Why you ask do I think it's important to host art shows at the church?

One reason is because everyday I see such ugly, brutal, evil artistic mis-uses all around me that I find highly offensive!  I become determined to use any opportunity for Godly expression artistically that I can help to facilitate!

This is important.

Artists were historically used in highly regarded positions and were significant contributors in various eras of history both Biblical and secular.

Artists of course are not to be more highly regarded then any of the rest of us.  But they need to be  given opportunity to express themselves using their God-given ability and maybe, just maybe they can  give us just a glimpse of His magnificent beauty!

Can you tell I love artists?  All kinds of artists - I find them all fascinating and I count it a HUGE privilege to spend time learning from them!

The next art show coming to Crossroads is called 'the Vessel' and will be up in Town Square from November 24 - December 2!  And for the first time, because the Coffee House is opened Monday - Friday the show will be available for viewing all week long!

Are you an artist - you are welcome to join in as we create the Vessel!

can't get my attention

It happened again last night.   I woke up for no reason in the middle of the night.

I woke up thinking about friends that needed prayer, so I prayed.   I'm not telling you this to make you think I'm this amazing spiritual praying machine...it's not as true as it should be and that's why I write.

I have a sneaking suspicion that is why I keep waking up.

Because He can't get my attention during the day.

Important business must be accomplished during the day you know - can't be bothered with a slow pace and mindful attention to prayer and such things.  At least not in an organized manner.

How sad that I pray the most in the middle of the night when I should be asleep.  

I have been particularly tired lately.

I wonder if I dedicate some of my best time - like first thing in the morning to pray through my list if I would sleep soundly at night?


Guess there is only one way to find out!

what I learned today

I spent time asking the Lord to really give me understanding of his Word today before I read in James.  His Words just a little too clear for comfort today.  Be careful what you ask for!

This chapter begins by talking about NOT showing partiality.  For instance if both a wealthy Mansfield guy and a homeless maybe smelly guy walked into the room where you were, do NOT show partiality one over the other.

I found this convicting.

It's very easy for me to get involved in helping save cute, helpless orphaned children.  But a homeless man.  I have to be honest about what comes to my sinful mind...

-Well, he probably could work if he tried.  Translation:  I have a good job!
-He should be more responsible.  Translation: He doesn't even try!
-I wonder how he was raised.  Translation:  I could have done a better job raising him!
-His family must have not been responsible people.  Translation:  My family is much better!

...and the judgmental list goes on and on.  That is honest.  And that is how hard my heart can be at times.  How about you?  Which would you choose to talk with?  Eat with? Minister to?

This is a battle that rages within me ever since I worked at the Welfare Department.  I can become cynical and judgmental and unforgiving and ungracious if I don't guard my heart and thoughts continuously with God's help!

James 2:6 "but you have dishonored the poor man.  Are not the rich the ones that oppress you, that drag you into courts?Are they not the ones who blaspheme the honorable name by which you are called?" vs 9 "if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors." 

The rich and ungodly are the ones that oppress the believers and always have been.  And so I am counted as one of them if my attitude is partial toward one man over the other.

It is not humanly possible for me to be impartial, I am in desperate need of the Savior every single day.  I have the God breathed Word of God for instruction and it's only through reading it that I can become convicted to follow God more and more.  And as His endless forgiveness washes over me again I thank Him and pray I will be stronger in this area and pleasing in His sight!

my day off

Today was a BLAST!  I got a totally unexpected phone call from a friend asking me to go Thrifting with her - I said yes!  I hurried to sweep and leave the house completely cleaned so I could return to a relaxing, clean, organized home and then away we went!

Because I am still not permitted to drive until October, I haven't shopped very much at all.  Today I made up for it.

I LOVE thrifting - it's like going on a treasure hunt and I found some treasures!  I also LOVE being with my amazing friends!!

Some of the things I found were...


Royal Dalton expresso cups and saucers for $1.99 a set.
Huge boxes of tea light candles for communion at Crossroads for $3 - $4.  (Nearly all communion supplies have been purchased at thrift stores except for the bread trays).
And finally - jeans that fit like I like them to!  I think I bought 5 pairs between $3.00 - $6.99, great deals.

All in all I probably spent what 2 pairs of regular not-on-sale jeans cost in the department store for everything I bought today!  Very worth while!

All this to say, I love days when I am caught up at home and don't have to feel guilty about being gone!

Tomorrow - I purge my closet of things I haven't worn this year, or things that no longer fit.  Then, I'll fill up our local thrift store!

weekend report

What a blessing this weekend has been!  Dan lead us beautifully with strings and the worship was sweet indeed!  And the message was so full of God breathed teaching about how we can know with certainty that God's Word is just that words from the mouth of God himself!

Our setlist:
Our Great God - Ortega (beautiful version)
More Than Amazing - Brewster
How Great Is Our God/How Great Thou Art - Tomlin
Our God - Tomlin
Interview with Aaron Nicolas - our new Coffee House Manager
Message:  Systematic Theology Pt. 2 - Pastor Tim Armstrong
Special:  Word of God Speak

To see what other ministries used in their services go to www.theworshipcommunity.com

To watch our services or download go to www.crossroadswired.com

discouragement

Man, the enemy knows exactly how to stop me dead in my tracks.

Discouragement.

I allow it to rob me...

of all creativity

all motivation

all confidence

all happiness

My determination is replaced by "it's never enough" and thoughts of incompetence.

My head totally knows it's a choice to allow it to affect me versus just learning from it.

But my heart won't let go.

It can be the most simple thing - a misunderstanding with a friend, something I considered creative that is rejected or made fun of or just a job that I don't do in an excellent way.

The enemy grabs it and dangles it in front of my eyes and I can see nothing else.

Discouraged is a lonely place to be.

But, the defense I have is an eternal perspective.

I force myself to snatch it from the hands of discouragement and throw it into the arms of the only One in whom I rest.

Never failing

Never critical

Never unforgiving

Never grudge-holding

Always encouraging

And with the choice made to look at how insignificant these discouraging things have been -

I realize they have no lasting significance.

It's already forgotten in Him.

I force myself back into the "try" of significant accomplishment refusing to remain in trivial.  

I continue to be available to His calling whatever that is ....forever.

a thank you list

As you know - my favorite spot is my deck.

It is magnificently peaceful and an extremely comfortable evening.

The last time I sat on my deck may have been back in June, I cannot remember.

I have allowed my summer to get away somehow, and yet I don't regret how I have spent any of my time.  I would describe this summer as very productive.

I can't seem to be productive and rest both.  So I am tired, but very, very thankful.

Tonight my thank you list is:

An authentic very personal faith
A faithful Godly husband
Godly children and children-in-law
Godly parents that I adore
A Mother-In-Law that I love (not many women can say that one!)
A job that has great purpose
Friends that would drop everything to help in any way I needed help
My needs are completely met
I am satisfied

What is it that you are thankful for?  Will you share it with us?

Have a beautiful night!

what I learned today

Today I was home for a few hours.

Looking over my house it appeared to be completely undisturbed and organized because we have not been home except to sleep lately.

But, I decided since I had the time, to go ahead and run the vacuum and dust.

What looked clean on the outside was not clean at all!

The variety of spiders in tiny webs tucked neatly under windowsills or in corners behind furniture was quite surprising!  Near my fireplace there was dust and a few dead bugs and I soon became very aware that this casual sweeping and dusting was very needed and in fact past-due!

As I eliminated the dirt and dust I thought about how I have to continuously work to take the next step in spiritual maturity, to walk closely to the Lord to not only appear to be a believer (to look clean) but, to be all I need to be deep down where no one sees, no one that is but Him.

Later today as I was studying the life of Mary Magdeline.  I was reminded that she was a woman who was one of the most radically rescued of any woman in the Bible.  The Savior had delivered her from 7 demons.  Can you imagine?

She was the one following the resurrection of her Lord who was completely devastated and was sure someone had moved him from the grave and taken his body away.  She was nearly inconsolable - and then she heard it.  A voice that she recognized.  And in that instant she knew He had risen and she had not lost her precious Savior!

In John 10:3-4 it says "He calls his own sheep by name... and they know His voice!"

She knew His voice.  I want to know His voice, in my regular day - dusting and cleaning and whatever my regular looks like.

a two-fold picnic

The volunteer picnic this past weekend served a two-fold purpose.

The obvious purpose is to say loud and clear to the volunteers that serve so faithfully at Crossroads - WE COULD NOT DO MINISTRY WITHOUT YOU - THANK YOU!!

The other benefit is that the staff works ALL together to accomplish the thank-you!

We spend our work days all working in different areas of the ministry rarely getting to work together - so these special events bring us together !  So with a 50's theme we celebrated one another!!

The Crossroads Staff - a well oiled machine!

The staff serves our amazing volunteers!

Milo and Steve dishing it out!

Jamie awarding a lollipop award!

The hill that many tried to conquer!

Grace's award winning bubble at our 50's picnic!

Lots of lollipops to the winners!

Another lollipop award from Leah!

Again I say, Thank you to all of our amazing volunteers!!

I have nothing to say

Hard to believe I know that I would have nothing to say.

Seriously, I had SO much work to do following my return from Cambodia, I barely could keep up with my laundry let alone writing or creating anything - even with just me and my hubby in the house !

It wasn't just work at Crossroads it was helping family members move and get settled and so on...

But - now I am ready to settle back in.  I miss my routine.  I miss writing and art and reading.  I am looking forward to the next few weeks, I realize something unexpected will probably come up it always does.  But the big things are done for a little while so I get to work within a regular schedule...ish

Today I have this to say...

As I catch glimpses of the olympics I think about the lives that have been spent preparing for these 2 weeks.  I listen to parents' stories about how their children's whole lives have been spent at practices and trainings and time away from them.  I just heard a Chinese diver's story of not allowed to see her parents for long periods of time.  Is it worth it?

Probably not in the scope of eternity.

But, this kind of single-mindedness is exactly what we as believers should have in order to live with focus.  How I long for this kind of a dedicated life pointing toward the things of eternity instead of passing things.