when I fall down

Yesterday was a day full of unplanned events.

I woke up believing I had my day all planned ...little did I know...

My plans:
-bike ride
-hair cut at noon
-attend last summer's Crossroads worship intern's senior recital
-leading our amazing worship/baptism services


His plans (reality):
-bike ride & breakfast 1/2 way through
-father perhaps close to passing do to severely dehydration from bacterial illness 
-crash 3 minutes away from being back to the car for no reason
-in ER for 2 1/2 hours
-broken wrist & imprint of chain-link fence on my forehead

the results of THE FALL

my precious dad

Decision to believe in God's sovereignty...

Romans 8:28

²⁸ And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

 Why did God allow this to happen?  In time I may or may not know fully - but, when you are a believer you understand that perhaps your faith becomes the faith YOU make it unless He chooses to test us which causes growth or reveals weakness.

He has already let me experience the following.

-in ER the Physicians Assistant asked me where I worked.  After leaving the room he returned with a chair and sat back down beside me.  He said he would probably cry and he did.  Years ago he was invited to a Crossroads Easter service and attended.  To hear him describe his experience and his wonder at the quality of the service made me cry.  The next year he brought his entire family and was again blown away.  Soon after that, being in Special Forces he served very ugly time in Iraq and Afghanistan and longed to receive something He could show his comrades.  So he requested a copy of that year's Easter service which we NEVER do, but we made an exception in the case of our amazing military serving overseas.  To see him cry as he described receiving that package made me cry again!  

He then kissed my head and left the room.  I may never see him again, but God let me see how our team's work is being used!  Breathtaking confirmation of my calling...

Being unable to attend services forced me to miss my favorite service - baptism, even more disappointing because my son, daughter, son-in-law and husband were all baptizing precious saints, some of which are brand new believers!  SO moving even watching on-line. This morning I gave thanks!

God IS moving for sure!  All areas of Crossroads were represented in baptisms!

my perfect husband Ron

Our son Eric

Our daughter and Son-In-Law Aaron

We don't always know WHY we fall and we don't need to know why... so I dedicate this slower-moving next few weeks to His glory and I will try not to question when I fall down.

not praying

My busyness has caused me to neglect intentional prayer recently.  I realized last week that I was feeling disconnected from the Lord.  Shame on me.

Asking for forgiveness from putting anything before Him - I've enjoyed rich closeness since then and find I'm VERY hungry Spiritually.

Soon after this I heard a pastor on the radio speak on, you guessed it, prayer.

He said - "Prayer is not a device to use to get what we want, our will.  But rather to pray over what God's will is.  He already has a plan in place.  When we pray it isn't God that changes what He had intended to do, it's us that changes.  Our prayer should always be motivated out of an understanding of God's Word.  When you study it should drive you to prayer."

I want to be driven by the things of God.

Are you like me - often putting earthly things before Him?  Busyness is far more dangerous than many other sins.  Busyness blinds us to our true priority of putting nothing before our spiritual growth in Him.  Other sin is black and white and has a beginning and end even if deemed more evil than busyness.

And so I'm recommitting to a whole lot of praying!


Join me anyone?

minor conflict

I don't know about you but minor conflict affects me more than major conflict.

If there is a major blow up or problem that needs to be addressed, given a little time to pray, evaluate and think things through I can usually deal with it.  Major conflict causes me to turn to Jesus immediately which is probably the very reason He allows us to go through very hard things.

But, when there is underlying nit-picking or silence between friends or gossip, I cannot rest.  I am not productive and I get completely discouraged.  Minor stuff that's constant exhausts me and I take my eyes off Jesus. 

I believe the enemy loves NOTHING more than a lack of unity in our lives.

I am spending time in prayer today specifically asking the Lord to reveal in my own life anything that is displeasing to Him.  My desire is to be very intentional in searching my heart for stubborn - controlling desires that need to change.

I pray that this day will be a day that pleases Him, a day that brings me even further into His will...