I sat near an older couple, ok they were probably my age, recently meeting for the first time and discussing their past marriages talking about the fact that it's hard to date in your 60's, I'm pretty sure they met on-line.
It made me VERY thankful for my marriage.
We recently moved and found that it drew us closer together, a common dream and quite the challenge to empty a house after being there 23 years and squeezing into a tiny house! So fun.
I also appreciate a ministry that offers opportunities to grow closer as a couple.
Currently Crossroads is offering a Valentines Banquet CLICK HERE for couples and singles both and we're bringing Kirk Cameron live to speak to us about both marriage and parenting. PLEASE register right away CLICK HERE.
I'm challenging you to take advantage of both of these events, as well as classes and groups being offered right now in our Winter Semester CLICK HERE to see the catalogue, and try to be intentional about being thankful for your marriage!
Tonight as my husband and I ate dinner at a local resturant, I looked around and watched the married couples around us.
One couple that looked slightly older than us, hardly looked at one another. Focusing only on their food and what other people walking by were doing.
Right beside us was a young married couple with a very young daughter. Although they looked happy, they seemed tired and bored focusing most of their talk toward their daughter. The wife was a beautiful girl and I wondered what they were like when they first met. I wondered if they could remember the early days when they could hardly bare to be apart and how exciting their early marriage was?
Looking back at the older couple - it just looked like they totally had come to take one another for granted, as if they assumed the other would always be there.
Looking at my hubby I sincerely gave thanks to the Lord for him, and watching him wondered if in our 36th year of marriage - did we take one another for granted? I don't want to, ever!
The pain that I see many couples cause one another is beyond my understanding. I often see a very deep loneliness even in the middle of marriage. If your spouse does not get appreciation and kindness from you - they will search for it some where else.
The thing that I hear that bothers me the most when I watch couples, is the tone of voice couples often use with one another. A voice that sounds aggravated and impatient. And then when they speak to someone other then their spouse, their voice is full of understanding and calm. So sad to hear. I pray the Lord will help me to never sound this way toward Ron although I am sure I have.
Lord, give me fresh eyes to see my marriage as you do. To cherish it and my husband always. To protect it by being unselfish and kind and loving. Use it as a testimony to your sustaining protection always. Amen.
My sunshine has returned to Ohio. The sunshine that encourages me outside where I feel most connected to my God...in the midst of His creation!
I'm currently reading a marriage book called, "Beyond Ordinary" that I can't put down as well as a daily reading in "A Quiet Place".
Beyond our personal spiritual maturity increasing, and the time with Our God that requires - our marriages take extraordinary effort. As my hubby and I celebrate 35 years of marriage this September, I'm more committed than ever before not to let it slip into easy, or auto-pilot or into assuming we're both fulfilled and living to our full potential. Submitting and serving one another daily takes being ALL - IN. And the challenge of marriage is to remain what you personally should be in the eyes of God, not constantly hoping for your spouse to change!
Think about that for a moment, could your marriage possibly fail if you both are committed to being as spiritually mature in the Lord individually as He desires us to be?
I'm not suggesting that removes all conflict and trouble, but what it does do is provide the necessary maturity in Him allowing us to respond to trouble properly - as God would respond. We lash out at one another, are dissatisfied with one another when we aren't what WE should be. To look at ourselves with discernment and honestly, is perhaps the greatest challenge. Start today - work on yourself and you'll be surprised how you see your relationship change. Take care of your own shortcomings and stand before the Lord with nothing but submission and honesty.
Let's all work to make our marriage in Him one of the areas that draw others to Him - allow others to see what God intended marriage based in Him to be!
My daughter Jocelyn is many things. A committed follower of Jesus Christ with spiritual understanding that puts those of us twice her age to shame at times. She is extremely talented in many areas; musician, vocalist, extraordinary athlete, committed to family, excellent friend, obedient respectful daughter.
But, today I was moved by her words. She is a very, very gifted journalist and creative writer. She just wrote about the relationship she has with her soon to be husband and the way they have survived the literal distance between them. Read her most recent blog post by clicking here: Jocelyn Biddle
I would like to comment on the distance they have overcome from my point of view.
I have watched their relationship with apprehension at times uncertain whether any relationship can survive this amount of time away from one another. This apprehension has slowly but surely been replaced by admiration for both she and her fiance Aaron.
They have developed a verbal depth that I have not seen in any other couples I have ever been around. Forced to communicate solely by speaking - they have a deep understanding and familiarity that would have taken years to foster if they had physically been together.
My husband and I began dating in high school and were together every single day until we were married. Physical closeness does not encourage communication. It can quickly become a lazy relationship - just hanging out -knowing you will see one another the next day...
I have watched them cherish each moment of face time on Skype doing devotions together, watching movies together - he in Boston she in Mansfield. Just anything they could think of to be together.
I am convinced this marriage is of God and blessed by God and has one of the strongest foundations I have witnessed.
I confess now, that in the beginning when Aaron moved to Boston my husband and I both were very sure it would never last - even though we loved Aaron.
It has not only lasted, but we feel with God's blessing will last for the rest of their lives.
They keep saying when Aaron arrives next week, "we have conquered the distance", and they truly have. It has been an extraordinary journey - and as my daughter's words explain, "she wouldn't change a thing"...and neither would I!
There are many sayings associated with rain. "Rain on my parade", "I love walking in the rain because then no one knows you are crying", "into each life some rain must fall", "it takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow"...
Recently I have considered rain my own personal enemy. We are a month behind with outside work in preparation for our daughters wedding. In this case, time is not an issue we have saved vacation to prepare. Rain is our enemy.
Our yard has been too wet to drive on for at least 3 weeks now. I find myself hating each rain shower more and more. Complaining to any friend who is not already bored by my griping.
...And then I stepped out of my door to leave for work today and saw the most beautiful thing, this perfect leaf with glistening rain drops laying on it. I just stared at it and it caused me to immediately give thanks to God for His ongoing provision.
The rain is not going to steel the joy of our daughter marrying the man God chose for her. Even if it's soggy, even if it gets moved inside we will celebrate their marriage and the beginning of a lifetime of love, serving God and walks in the rain...
I needed this simple reminder that God is in control, not me!
We had so much fun tonight going out to eat with other couples!
We often eat out after church with others, but, tonight a group of us all went out to eat and then to a show. We ran into even more good friends at the show! It was so much fun enjoying one another and not being worried about when we had to be home or hurrying off to do anything else!
I am beginning to understand how important this is as I talk to others who are struggling in their relationship or some who seem to have no close friends. How vital it is to never stop working on your marriage and friendships! No one can do this life alone, God didn't intend us to not have relationships with others. We need each other and God needs what we collectively can accomplish!
I would like to have many more evenings like tonight, many more real dates!
We have several ladies groups at Crossroads. One of them is our MOPS group, Mothers of Preschoolers. Tonight I was invited as one of the 'older' women to talk with the young moms.
So, when did this happen? When did I become anyone that young girls could learn from based on the length of my marriage? Hilarious! I've become my mother!
I may have been the woman there tonight that had been married the longest...wow! As we talked with the younger woman it took me back in time. Listening to them describe the strong parts as well as the weaknesses of their marriages.
Ron and I have done life together for so long that I seldom think much about my marriage, except to be thankful for my husband, to pray for him and thank God for him. But, these young women think about it a lot! They are anxious to know they are on the right track. They wanted us to tell them that what they experience is normal, and that the days of small children will pass so quickly they'll barely remember it. I was 30 when we had our kids, so I had more confidence than many of the much younger girls do. God knew what he was doing big time - to withhold children from me until I was ready.
Being there tonight made me realize my responsibility to young women and young couples. I should be investing time in them. We should mentor in areas that God has blessed us in. I think today's young couples need to be assured that it is possible with God's help, to stay together for life. They certainly don't see that model in our society much anymore. I was glad they thought of asking me to come tonight, even though it means I'm getting older.
Today is my 30th wedding anniversary! And guess what? I've never loved my husband more! I have no idea how I got such a man, God is good!
I am sitting in a little coffee shop trying to prepare for the week and waiting for my massage appointment! Not a luxury exactly as I have continued to suffer from a neck injury early this year, but a great way to start the day nevertheless!
We are then going out of town for the rest of the day just to eat a fabulous meal and enjoy the day!
Titus 2:4 & 5a and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure...
So why would a young woman have to be trained to love her husband? That's not what the movies show...you just fall in love and everything falls into place...NOT SO!
Any relationship is work, so why do we let our young people go into the most important earthly relationship of all unprepared? I definitely believe the home is the first line of teaching our children these things. Most importantly we are commanded to love one another, to demonstrate what a Godly couple look like and act like and serve like! This presses deeply into their very being. I was fortunate to grow up in this kind of Godly family. It has a direct connection to my training to love my husband.
I have mentioned before how much I appreciate my parents and a long Christian heritage ( I have many, many, many Christ following relatives). Today I celebrate my marriage, the marriage they prepared me for with God's help and many, many prayers! I knew what to look for in a Godly husband and I learned not to settle for less than that. And with all the training and prayers in my life I found Ron! We are off to celebrate and have a very good day off!
