what I learned today

I am working on a project today - just taking a look at my whole department at Crossroads.

In thinking about the goals for our department I must look first at myself!

I think perhaps the wisest man that ever lived was the guy that first said "when one finger is pointing at someone else, the rest are pointing back at you..." or something like that.

How wise is that? When I look for weaknesses I must examine myself very carefully first. And, I usually find more than my share of the problem for sure!

One of my department's greatest weaknesses is getting caught up in the urgent. There is always a last minute change, a technical crash of some piece of equipment or mistake of some kind up there for all the world to see! Our mistakes are less secret then most. That could be a blessing I suppose - forcing us to deal with things more quickly that other behind the scene departments. But there are days when all I wish is that we could have just one perfect weekend!

Today I identified a few things that can be changed and I am willing to keep examining in an effort to be our best for the Lord. Apart from work - do all of you take inventory of your lives very often? If you are having trouble seeing your weaknesses - just ask a friend or a spouse or a boss - believe me, they can tell you!

weak spots

Doesn't Satan just love to tweak our weak spots. Guess it makes sense that he cannot bother us much in areas we are strong in the Lord.

If I could always remember this and remain in what I 'know' rather than what I 'feel' I would save myself a lot of discouragement.

I John 3:18 - 22 This passage encourages us to be confident in God. Not to just love and talk with our tongue, but in deed and truth.

When we get discouraged chances are we are relying on how we feel at the time. That is all us! When we live truthfully and honestly before the Lord our heart will not condemn us. When it feels like God isn't giving any answers to our questions - this is the time we grow. Testing and silence produces Godly maturity. These are the hard times....waiting. When I feel discouraged I try to force myself into the Word and prayer, even though it is the last thing I want to do sometimes. That is just honest.

Beth Moore says this, "The answers God is willing to give us in our tomorrows often flow from our faithfulness when we have none today." Powerful!

what I learned today

Chris from our worship team recently said to me, "isn't it funny how God chooses to use us in the areas of our weakness?"

I was blessed this weekend when one of our team members told me that he experienced compliments based on his application of something I taught in one of the trainings I lead recently. That was one of the most shocking things anyone has ever said to me. I trained out of obedience, although I did agree there was a need for what I taught.

My surprise is not false humility - it is a lack of ability. You see, an area of great weakness is my ability to stand in front of a group and teach or even talk coherently for that matter! I marvel at my friends who can communicate so well. I am not jealous of them because I know God has gifted me in other ways, it is a talent He chose not to give to me. Maybe He knew being an upfront face would cause arrogance in me.

At any rate, what I learned this weekend and still thanked Him for today, was that God can use our weakest areas if we offer them to Him in obedience.

(PS I am not looking for compliments and will not post them...but, thanks.)

evaluated

I received my annual evaluation yesterday. It was very kind and affirming. As I sat with our Chief of Staff, I loved how every suggestion for minor changes were right on with my known weaknesses - no surprises. It always fascinates me to see myself through others eyes.

What surprised me the most was the fact that most areas I could be a little stronger in, were the very areas of strengths and gifts God gave me.

I am a relational leader. Team building, creative, relationships, keeping everyone affirmed and assured that their contributions are vital to this ministry, rah, rah, rah, (ok, so I was a cheerleader in High School, what can I say??) These same good attributes cause me to turn a blind eye to minor problems or put off confrontation.

Man, how can this be?? My greatest strengths are my biggest weakness? Do I use my gifts or don't I??

I THINK THIS MAY BE THE ANSWER: I work the hardest on things that don't come naturally to me. Sometimes easy = lazy.

So evaluation is nothing but good, it refocuses me, forces me out of my comfort zone. Some of the goals that were set for me seem totally impossible, but if others see possibilities in me I am blind to, I have to assume they could be right. It is no mistake I have been put under their authority to create and accomplish what God intends for my life.

I have been evaluated - and I fully embrace it!