Can you worship me

This past weekend still reeling from the news of my dad's diagnosis of Acute Leukemia, I tried very hard to focus on the work I needed to do and to be fully involved with the people that I needed to assist, but, I had every intention of staying in my office as much as possible.

I decided that I was just too tired and distracted to even go up front like I try to do each weekend for worship, so I headed back to the office area.

But, I swear to you God challenged my soul with, "So....you can't worship me?"

It couldn't have been more soul piercing if He had yelled it out loud!

It stopped me dead in my tracks and I had to do a real quick soul exam.   What does my worship depend on?

My circumstances?  How I'm feeling?  I knew where I needed to be...

I walked to the front of that auditorium to worship the King of Kings, and He ministered to me through that sweet time like nothing I've experienced in a very long time.  He is Lord!

He is ALWAYS every minute, in every circumstance not matter what is happening - the Lord of Lords and King of Kings.   And the only reason He created me and then called me to Him, is so that in every circumstance I live to bring Glory to Him with my life.

That's it - I live to bring glory to Him!

marriage

Tonight as my husband and I ate dinner at a local resturant, I looked around and watched the married couples around us.

One couple that looked slightly older than us, hardly looked at one another.  Focusing only on their food and what other people walking by were doing.

Right beside us was a young married couple with a very young daughter.  Although they looked happy, they seemed tired and bored focusing most of their talk toward their daughter.  The wife was a beautiful girl and I wondered what they were like when they first met.  I wondered if they could remember the early days when they could hardly bare to be apart and how exciting their early marriage was?

Looking back at the older couple - it just looked like they totally had come to take one another for granted, as if they assumed the other would always be there.  

Looking at my hubby I sincerely gave thanks to the Lord for him, and watching him wondered if in our 36th year of marriage - did we take one another for granted?  I don't want to, ever!

The pain that I see many couples cause one another is beyond my understanding.  I often see a very deep loneliness even in the middle of marriage.   If your spouse does not get appreciation and kindness from you - they will search for it some where else.

The thing that I hear that bothers me the most when I watch couples, is the tone of voice couples often use with one another.  A voice that sounds aggravated and impatient.  And then when they speak to someone other then their spouse, their voice is full of understanding and calm.  So sad to hear.  I pray the Lord will help me to never sound this way toward Ron although I am sure I have.

Lord, give me fresh eyes to see my marriage as you do.  To cherish it and my husband always.  To protect it by being unselfish and kind and loving.  Use it as a testimony to your sustaining protection always.  Amen.

a good cleaning

We are giving everything in our home a good cleaning. Everyone is helping and we are making slow but steady progress. The problem is I have been so busy I am beginning to feel the wear of less quality time with God.

It is always a choice of course. Nothing to blame but the way we prioritize our day. This determines how that one and only day is spent - and it shows what we valued most that day.

My body is very physically tired from a combination of working out and working at home, but it is surprising what a toll my soul takes when I don't care for it. It is a far more painful ache I feel spiritually.

If God gives me tomorrow I will try to prioritize more carefully - beginning with Him. Tomorrow I'll focus the cleaning on my eternal self instead of my stuff.

a deep tired

I am deeply tired! I have had a home full of guys the past week and I am SO tired!

We have had a blast running around late at night and laughing together and eating at crazy times of the day and night. But, I am so tired!

Funny how I get tired whenever I am taken out of my regular routine? I used to be able to stay awake forever! Now I am old I guess!

What makes you tired? Work? Kids? Stress? I would love to hear from each of you!

TTTT

TooTiredToType.

Still not sleeping through the night due to my shoulder...

It is hard to think creatively when tired. So instead of writing a great deal, I thought we would look at the faces of our Crossroads Cambodian orphanage! Enjoy the children God loves so much...the orphans.

This beautiful little girl with our kids, is the orphan that our family has the privilege of supporting! Who would have thought on the day she was born, and then on the day she lost her parents that God would allow us the privilege of caring for her from very far away!

If you are able, and if God lays it on your heart, please help us support the orphans in the BB3 orphanage in Cambodia, Crossroads orphanage!

seen and critiqued by many

I love my job. I often wonder how I got here. I often wonder what God thinks of my work.

My work is seen by many, critiqued by many, there just isn’t really anything private about my work. It is just out there for all to see. This is difficult sometimes.

I sometimes wonder what it must be like to work privately, quietly, unnoticed. This sounds attractive sometimes!

Would I be as diligent, would I strive so hard for excellence? Or would I be lazy, move slower or ever step out of my comfort zone? Don’t know.

God sees us all the time, every minute, every second. Do I work as if He is watching, as if I believe that He sees all? What about my thoughts? I wonder how much of my day He is glorified by. I want to live as if I believe He is listening and watching me. Can you imagine if you never had to be sorry for any word spoken or any thought? No apologizes, ever.

To live fully committed, fully focused, fully engaged, fully forgiven. I would imagine this would draw the lost to the Lord in ways none of the services I have helped plan every have or ever will. To live a fully devoted life would allow all my work, all my thoughts to freely be examined without shame or apology. And would allow people to catch just a glance of the difference Christ can make in someone’s life. This is the reason for continuing to ask for forgiveness and beginning again and again.

We all get tired. We all question if we are doing what God intended us to spend our lives doing. We all think we can’t. We all want to give up sometimes. We must cling to Him daily and continue ‘a long obedience in the same direction’…we must!

Exhaustion sets in

I am really too tired to even write much about one of the most amazing events at Crossroads, our Harvest Party. It's a good tired because I am tired due to thousands of people coming through the doors of Crossroads tonight. Go to our Chief of Staff's blog, Mark Pierce to see how each of our staff dressed for the occasion.

My husband and I had fun greeting people and dodging the candy that was being thrown continuously by our Sr. Pastor, Tim Armstrong. Thanks to the hundreds of volunteers who made this all possible!!

winding down

I really had hoped I could end today saying something profound, but I am weary.

It could have something to do with the fact that I don't think I ate one thing all day that was actually good for me. I'm fairly sure that a Sausage McMuffin with egg and cream sticks cannot be found anywhere on the food chain. I really should try to eat better.

It could have something to do with the fact that I haven't been sleeping well, my neck is driving me crazy!

It could have something to do with how busy I was at church from morning until 9:00 at night straight through.

It could just be that I have nothing profound to say...so why say anything at all, good night!!