I thought I was too tired

I haven't slept well this week - no idea why, so I'm tired today.  I kind of camped out in my office working on coming events and kept to myself mostly.

However, when you have a son having a birthday you buy cupcakes and embarrass him in front of the Student Ministry Worship team.  So I had a duty to perform...you know, mom's perfect timing.

And it was really worth it - got him good!

And then something else happened....

I saw the future stand before me on the Crossroads stage.

And behind me on the lighting board and on the sound board.

And behind the wall running all the video detail.

I became overwhelmed with the Lord's provision - His children, the future had become the present.

A multi-generational church is a blessed, healthy, growing church.  20 years have passed as if vapor and here we are preparing for another service with an auditorium full of young hope, young trust and new young leaders...so overwhelming...

I can't wait for the weekend, I think everyone involved is under 30, (ok maybe not Dan, Arnie and I), but you get the idea!!

Can't wait for Student Takeover weekend!

The amazing brothers Stuckey

Nick and Austin

Beautiful Daughters of the King above
and below!

My precious friend Dan with his darling granddaughter right behind him!
Generations worshipping the Lord!

They are precious in His sight!

And in mine!!  Feeling very blessed to be part of this!

my day off

I'm finished with all the Christmas decorating I will do this year.  It's simple - consisting mainly of twinkle lights and old items saved from years past.  I added nothing new.  I like that.

Now I sit, which I haven't done in a while and reflect on the whirlwind of the past couple of weeks.

Just days ago you heard me describe my communion with the Lord on a level that I hadn't experienced in a while - while we were on vacation.  Not because He did anything different or moved closer toward me.  But because I was available.

I came home fully rested, renewed and ready.

The blessings that I've experienced since vacation have been too numerous to count.

The ones that come to mind are my job at Crossroads - working with people I adore, and last week working with Dr. Kevin Leman.  This man is a riot while being a wealth of knowledge and accomplishment yet remaining very approachable and Godly.  I LOVED my time working with him.

Following that weekend event, we created our Christmas set design discovering things I didn't know our Environmental Projection was capable of doing and continued working on Christmas@Crossroads.

This was a very special weekend, as I got to watch the young worship adults from the Student Ministry at Crossroads lead our congregation in worship!  Knowing we have this kind of young adult base gives testimony to the fact that we have a very healthy ministry.  Of course the biggest blessing to me personally was that my son and daughter and son-in-law were part of that team.  There is perhaps no greater earthly blessing than to watch your kids serve their Lord!

And finally yesterday we celebrated Katie and Garrett's wedding.  These are both Crossroads young adults that discovered one another after being at Crossroads together for years.  What a great night it was as I watched one of the girls that I got to build into during times of single girls groups and doing ministry together!  She deserved a great guy like Garrett!

And now, on my day off, we get to meet with a beautiful lady from across the world, who is here in the states for a short time.  Tutu is one of the most giving - loving - Godly ladies I've every known.  She serves with Asia's Hope in Thailand.  She hosted our kids years ago when they served 2 weeks with her.  So we'll all get to be with her in just a couple of hours!

The Church is not a building, it's God's people serving and caring for one another.  Gathering on the weekends to learn and to fellowship with one another.

If all you do is attend a church, but your life isn't connected to what God's doing during the week through that body of believers, then you're not partaking in what God intended for His Church.

I invite you perhaps as a New Year's resolution to get involved, really involved and begin not only to serve others, but to experience God's family in it's fullest!  It will change your life...forever!

happy and sad

Is it possible to be both happy and sad at the same time?  I think I am…

I am SO happy and blessed to have our son Eric in our Christmas production this year at Crossroads!!  I told Pastor Tim today - wait until your kids become adults and they start to lead YOU in church.  It's just something that's indescribable!

At the same time I am missing our daughter and her husband more than I can possibly describe!  I don't understand why the Christmas holiday makes me so homesick for them?  Our family gets together constantly so it's not like we only do at the holidays…I guess it does hold special memories.

With my mom facing surgery this Thursday I have to remember that it's an unusual Christmas anyway. A Christmas of

stark contrasts

 I was in the process of texting my son to tell him how proud I am of him after watching his most recent video, http://vimeo.com/54815992 and how I marvel at the seemingly unending talent and ability that God has blessed him with, when a text came in on my hubby's phone laying beside me.

My amazing hubby, makes a certain special needs adult young man feel he can come to him about anything.  So he very often and sometimes MANY times a day hears from this young man.  The other text message told my hubby that he was going back to the doctor.  His 'shaking' has become very bad.

It struck me what a contrast this was.

On one hand our son, a young man fully capable of doing almost anything he puts his mind to, on the other hand a young man who would give anything for an opportunity just to be fully functional and able to choose what to accomplish today.  Instead it's dictated to him, day after day, what he'll accomplish based on his current health and stability of mind.

Why does God allow this kind of contrast...I don't know.  I do believe God is sovereign and He decides what best furthers His kingdom.

Watching this special needs young man struggle sometimes just to survive, does draw me to the Lord.  It draws me in prayer and it encourages me when he succeeds - I cheer for him.  I can understand - just a little  bit more, how things that don't make sense to us fit into God's plan, and I rest in that.

Yes, it's easy for me to say, because my son is doing well and is healthy, but I've worked with special needs kids in the past and I understand even more now why they are so special.  It's their pure belief and joy in the Lord.  It's the uninhibited joy and their expression in worship that I see in our services at Crossroads.  God uses the 'least of these'.  In His eyes I suspect THEY are the closest to the heart of God - they are unquestioning.

Stark contrasts drove me to the Lord today.

all I can do is laugh

My week has been so ridiculous that all I can do is laugh.

Today I was diagnosed with acute sinusitis and acute bronchitis - this after I woke up feeling a bit worn down and tired.,,  I almost didn't go to the doc.  So glad I did.

Determined to get back 'to it' I did go for our Director's meeting - really bugs me to miss this weekly time together!   And our kids were moving today - so I couldn't miss that either.

Now on meds - hopefully my stamina will soon return after this past week it's hard to remember what being well and energetic feels like!

But, it was worth the effort seeing our kids so happy  - God is SO good!!  As soon as we finish here we get to help our son and daughter-in-law move into their new home in just a couple of weeks down in Columbus - so, this was good practice!

Here are shots from our day...enjoy!

Grandpa Forbes directing Traffic

The happy couple

The reluctant cat transport

basking in the glow of the fake logs!

The cat launch!

my day off

I went to the doctor only to be told I have arthritis in my knee...PAINFUL! I then FINALLY completed my reorganization of my coupons and began to go to stores.

I highly encourage each of you to go to the Special K website and print off the Buy One Get One Free coupons for Special K if they are still available! Then, go to Rite Aid who has Special K Buy One Get One, use your coupons and pay something like 30 cents a box!

For one dollar today I got 4 boxes of Special K (our favorite!) and two bags of pistachios, AND they gave me 5 - $1 coupons good on my next shopping trip. SO they paid me $4 to buy the cereal and nuts!

I immediately took my 5 - $1 coupons to the next Rite Aid store and bought 2 - $5 boxes of Tylenol pads for sore muscles and arthritis (that word makes me feel SO old!)...I used 2 -$2 off coupons and paid $1.86 after using the 5 -$1 coupons from my last transaction. I believe the product usually sells for $7.99 each! Fun!

Then at home we sorted through the very fullest closet in the entire Biddle household, Eric's! 5 huge piles he is getting rid of and I swear it is still not easy to hang clothes up in his closet. As I sat folding the 2 huge clothes baskets he is taking to Plato's Closet in the hopes of making some cash, I folded only a couple things with tags still on that didn't fit, most were small mens that are just too small and then I found probably 5 shirts from Junior High!! He is now 22 - think it was time to sort??

Each piece of clothing told a story. Navy blue pullover represented the year the kids had to switch to uniforms. I remember amidst all the

complaints of Eric's friends he said to me, "maybe this change will help the girls be more modest in front of us guys!" A moment of wisdom I still obviously remember. Another shirt was worn for a band performance when he played trumpet. Still another was worn for one of the high school proms...Then I came to the vintage clothing, the stuff that looks just like what we wore in the 70's - so many eras and all leaving our home tomorrow.

As I folded I also remembered how many times each piece of clothing was hugged with my boy inside. Those are awesome memories, mostly because the boy in the clothes hugged me back....and still does!

My day off did not go the way I had planned, but ended with accomplishment connected to beautiful memories and days off just don't get better than that!

a very important conclusion

I had the privilege yesterday of walking into an unexpected meeting. I had been ironing in my bedroom and didn't realize there was a meeting going on in my living room

It was The Gun Show - our sons band. They are an extremely hard metal Christian band - often misunderstood because of their unorthodox music. But a more determined group I have never known.

As I walked out, the meeting I interrupted was a prayer meeting. This prayer time went on for a very long time and the passion with which they talked to their heavenly Father was almost more than I could take...I of course honored their privacy and passed through the room quickly and drove away.

As I drove my heart was warm and I thanked the Lord for my son. I came to a very important conclusion - these young men will reach a people group for the Lord that I would never have any access to. So I too prayed as I drove away - for their safety - for their faith to continue to grow and for no compromise, ever.

they are someone today

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher

I saw this on someone's facebook today and loved the quote.

Do not waste your time worrying about who your child will become.

Teach them daily, enjoy each moment and dedicate them to the Lord.

They will never look just like you thought they would, they will never think the same way you think and they will never become exactly what you thought they would be.

They are someone very important today, just as they are, right where they are.

After Friday I will mostly talk to my daughter via phone or Skype. I will no longer be able to walk up to her bedroom and find her there. She will be gone. She will be married.

I am a very, very blessed mom to love the man she is marrying. I have gained a son, not lost a daughter. But I warn you...

If you spend your time waiting for what they will become, you will definitely miss who they are.

I need to write

It is so predictable that when either of my kids are around I am completely off schedule! It doesn't take much. And one of the things I miss the most is writing. It takes time and it takes focus - I have neither right now.

It doesn't help that the weather is also so out of whack! I cannot believe it as I sit in my living room watching the snow blow past the windows, first from the right and then from the left. Completely off schedule. Yesterday in flip flops, today in socks and boots. Crazy.

My son leaves again tomorrow after his CD release show and I miss him so much when he's gone. But, with an organized house I think a little more clearly, (not crystal), but clearer and I remember the God moments of my day.

I need to write. Tomorrow I hope to begin again!

songwriters group

A great new group began tonight at Crossroads. This group of talented people hope to create music that Crossroads as well as other area ministries will be able to use! Very cool.

We started out by telling in what ways we are creative. I talked about the fact that early in Crossroads history I used to sing and play keyboards (they were desperate!) Now days I write a lot so have decided to try my hand at lyrics.

After those early years I turned my focus to providing musical opportunities for our kids and enthusiastically left the stage to begin programming the services at Crossroads. Today our son sent this picture from his band's tour.

I was a little concerned that the length of his Snuggie might get wrapped around his feet while he was driving toward Florida. Songwriters are awesome - even if they wear snuggies!

just really thankful

I have so much to be thankful for...I became filled with thankfulness tonight.

I am starting to put away some of our son's college stuff because he's all done - he's touring - and he gave me permission to take down old posters and get his room ready to paint.

This doesn't mean 'he's out'! Just that, no kidding...embarrassing...oh well here it goes... we haven't painted his room since we built the house 14 years ago! Nasty! ha ha Not really so bad because he has always had tons of posters up. So the old posters are coming down and a great big cleaning is beginning.

As I cleaned tonight and cleared a closet shelf for all his books, I was overwhelmed at the books he has read these past few years, Reformed Theology, Rick Warren's writings, My Utmost for His Highest... - so much to be thankful for. I loved the years that our house has been filled with Eric, his guitar practices, the short lived piano phase and his made up words and laughter and all the many, many questions.

Now it's time to make a grown up room and watch as the knowledge he has taken in the past few years shape his future and lead him into God's plans for him. So thankful!

just one day

I am blogging while waiting for my daughter to wake up so we can bake together.

I only have this one day with her before she goes to Boston for Thanksgiving. Tough, very tough!

Today we will bake our families 'secret roll recipe' - and she will share it with her boyfriends family instead of ours.

This makes me very proud in many ways - she is growing up to be an amazing woman of God - but makes me sad as well.

It is ironic that in every instance I can think of when we let something go, we also get something back. As our kids connect and network with school, ministry and friends, they make life decisions that bring other people and things into our lives. Some good, some bad. And really all we can do is pray.

Parenting used to be much easier when we could just make all the decisions! Now we try to hold our opinions until just the right time, or until they ask, more and more often not sharing them at all. Unless of course we know they are doing something obviously wrong.

So we send her off tonight with a family a year and a half ago we didn't even know and tomorrow I will be try to be thankful for kids who are growing independent of us, as it should be. Just wish they didn't have to be independent so far away!

The good news is our son will arrive with his girlfriend tomorrow night - so we get to spend time with Eric tomorrow!! Very thankful for that! I hope your loved ones are close - hold them tightly and TELL them how much you love them!

Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow everyone - I won't be blogging !

my family

Lunch with our son before his band was off to play again, was a blessing that comes less and less often these days. We treasure any time we get to be with him! And, he LOVES his grandparents, so we somehow got everyone together for a last minute early-afternoon lunch today! So fun!!

We enjoyed the rest of our afternoon and then later another great thing happened...

My husband cooked me dinner and served it on the deck overlooking his newly mowed lawn...possibly my favorite place in the world! Not too many more evenings to sit outside! It is a blessed evening when you can sit with someone you love and enjoy the great taste of a meal full of the offerings of summer, and also take in the beauty not only of nature but of peace.

I drink deeply of this peace when it comes.

All week we have gotten calls of friends' lost loved ones to illness, lost relationships and wayward children. When peace comes we value it highly and thank our God for the moments...

a taste of heaven for sure! Enjoy one another on this long Labor Day weekend!

my son

Not so long ago I held my son, now he holds others.

I taught him everything God has ever laid on my heart for him, now he teaches others.

I cared for his every need to the best of my ability as a child, now he cares for children across the world.

Releasing your children, I have discovered is an ongoing everyday thing, because somewhere along the way you believe they are yours.

When really they never were.

manage well

en⋅tre⋅pre⋅neur : person who organizes and manages any enterprise, esp. a business, usually with considerable initiative and risk.

These are pictures of my son and his band, they are entrepreneurs. (Eric is in the stripped shirt, he won't look at the camera because his mom is embarrassing him) They have managed to continue performing while maintaining good grades in college. They managed last summer to buy a $300 van and keep it running all summer. They managed to cover the cost of all their gas and have enough left to buy new merchandise which they are preparing in the pictures for last weekends gig. They managed to sell over $100 worth of merchandise, I guess they prepared well.

It is with this entrepreneur spirit that we should face each day. Many churches may be feeling the effects of the economy so this is the time we need to become very creative! The huge Harvest Party that our Family Ministries Department just put on for 6,000 in our community, did so without spending money and actually came out ahead! All the candy and all the prizes were donated! Each game was sponsored by a local business and without charging any admission, we made money on the event! This is true genius! Entrepreneurish! (I know it's not a word, but, I like it!)

What else could be accomplished if we all managed and worked like young entrepreneurs? I want to work that way and manage well, with forward thinking, able to make due and be creative. I admire their spirit, how hard they work and how excited they are about life! Mom learning from son, cool!