I struggle to trust that when I ask God for something He will give it to me...I know this is wrong. Just being honest.
Why would he give me the things I ask for when so many around the earth are praying for life itself? Praying just for daily bread? One of the mysteries of God. He says to ask.
So I have.
There is an opportunity I have (nothing that important, just something I want to do), and it doesn't appear that it will happen. So, I asked God to show me if He wants it for me or whether I do not need it. He has 2 weeks.
Do you struggle to ask for things that may seem trivial in light of the struggles around you?
Showing posts with label struggles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label struggles. Show all posts
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Sunday, September 28, 2008
haunting eyes
We began the One Month To Live series at Crossroads tonight. After the service came to an end a girl walked up to me that I had never seen before. She was much shorter than I am so I kind of bent down to talk to her. She turned her face up to me and spoke with complete honesty.
She was hoping to talk to our senior pastor. I explained that he was in a post service review meeting. Her eyes looked sad.
She explained that she was Bipolar and had been struggling recently. She went on to say she was glad she had come to church tonight and things had actually gone well this week. Even in a good week she was uneasy not trusting how good things were. Almost as if she didn't deserve to have things go right. She said she had not been faithfully attending church and was going to try. I hugged her and encouraged her to come next Saturday.
She began to walk away twice and turned back to me with haunting eyes. Eyes that had a trace of tears in them. She seemed so lost in her condition. Unsure in coming now unsure in going.
I thought of her as I drove home tonight, what must it be like to have her struggles? I wondered about her perception of God, how did those eyes see Him? I often sit in our tech booths and wonder what problems and struggles are represented by the audience seated in front of me. How overwhelming would it be to know?
But I am telling you, her eyes, I can't get them out of my mind.
She was hoping to talk to our senior pastor. I explained that he was in a post service review meeting. Her eyes looked sad.
She explained that she was Bipolar and had been struggling recently. She went on to say she was glad she had come to church tonight and things had actually gone well this week. Even in a good week she was uneasy not trusting how good things were. Almost as if she didn't deserve to have things go right. She said she had not been faithfully attending church and was going to try. I hugged her and encouraged her to come next Saturday.
She began to walk away twice and turned back to me with haunting eyes. Eyes that had a trace of tears in them. She seemed so lost in her condition. Unsure in coming now unsure in going.
I thought of her as I drove home tonight, what must it be like to have her struggles? I wondered about her perception of God, how did those eyes see Him? I often sit in our tech booths and wonder what problems and struggles are represented by the audience seated in front of me. How overwhelming would it be to know?
But I am telling you, her eyes, I can't get them out of my mind.
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