ironing

I love freshly ironed clothing.

I unfortunately - based on our current schedule, had allowed my ironing to really pile up.  It was one of those evenings a couple days ago, when all that was on TV was election junk, so I headed upstairs.

I think the reason I enjoy ironing is that it has a beginning and an ending, and most of my work feels like it doesn't.

I took my laptop with me and decided to re-listen to Pastor Dave's heaven and hell teachings. Crossroads Messages

Even though I almost always sit clear up-front during 1 service a weekend, it's really difficult to ever fully stop evaluating and making suggestions for improvement creatively, technically and musically.   So although I sit down - I don't 'take it all in', like I should.

I was really, really challenged more than any other messages in a long time as I listened.   Dave's challenge to long for heaven to spend eternity in Christ's presence felt like a brand new challenge. He said it should be the main thing we long for, to simply be in the presence of Jesus forever.

Sitting under this kind of teaching makes me understand that I had several pastors growing up, that seemed to focus on sending us home each weekend feeling guilty about our lives.  Not redeemed, not saved, not secure - guilty...not good enough.

So I have to admit, when taking the time to carefully examine my heart, most of my thinking related to 'excepting Christ', was feeling not worthy on my own to get to heaven, which of course is true.   And because I was scared to death of hell.  We were asked weekly, "Are you SURE you're saved, are you POSITIVE you've been forgiven", even though we didn't believe you could lose your salvation - they asked weekly.

I see now how our enemy can even use well intentioned good men to lead us away from a personal longing to understand and know our Savior more and more.  Instead it can turn into nothing more then a 'get out of hell' pass.

He created me to BE WITH HIM, not worry about doing things well enough, bank accounts and the future - but to understand that as a child of His I will ONLY find satisfaction in Him...

I want to know Him more - to ask for understanding of who He is, and to honestly believe what I'm doing now - my amazing family - all these blessings He's given me are all to use for eternal accomplishment.  In a blink of an eye we'll move on, and that's not a negative thing.  I want it to nurture a longing that can only be satisfied by Him.

It shouldn't be shocking that God allows dramatic things to happen to us, removing all 'the stuff' that clogs our ability to focus on Him.  Especially as Americans, it's nearly impossibly to see our deep eternal need of Him through all of our appointments, purchases and self-sufficiencies, but I want to know Him at a level that makes heaven the longing of my heart.  Pouring into only heaven worthy things and attitudes.  I am very thankful that truth is taught clearly and bravely at Crossroads without guilting us into obedience!

Who would have thought ironing my hubby's shirts could be used of God to open my eyes and catch just a tiny glimpse of what He really wants from me?  What awaits for me!

May your day be filled with heaven-longings and a new, deep knowledge of Christ- and maybe a little ironing!

a great outpouring

I have never experienced anything in my life like the passing of my father, on many levels.

One is the great outpouring of love and support in the form of cards and letters that are still coming from my friends and relatives.  Another was the amazing food that friends brought to us!

As I sat with my mom this afternoon - I read through all the cards she has received.   I couldn't believe the pile of cards and notes she had!  The thing we marveled at was that nearly every card had extensive writing in it.  The amazing detail people included about their relationship with dad made us smile.  And the only ones that didn't contain extra writing, were from people that we've spent time with and talked to over the past several weeks, or from people who didn't know my dad, but sent beautiful cards to encourage us - a generous outpouring!

As I returned home today, my husband handed me the mail which also still contained cards coming from dear friends!

Thank you so much!

It's so hard to believe it's been a week ago that we held dad's funeral service.  Out of all the services I've helped to create, it was my greatest honor.  I loved him so so much...

We invited dad's pastor whom he loved to open the service and then family members lead the rest.

Eric and Jocelyn lead the music

My brother John read scripture

Aaron had the difficult task of reading the families' memories of dad and my brother-in-law Rob Barlow delivered a perfect message, and then my precious hubby gave the graveside message!  I was thankful for the talents of each family member, so thankful!

The veterans were so kind to honor dad too!

My mom only wanted to have 2 hours of visiting hours right before the funeral service, which was at 3:00 p.m.- so I was worried that she might be disappointed in attendance on a workday.  But everyone  just kept coming and coming to pay their respects to my amazing dad.

They came to pay respect to the man that taught me who God is, what kind of a man I deserved to marry and how to raise kid's to love the Lord.  The man that adored my mom for nearly 60 years.

I miss him desperately and just cannot thank you all enough for all of your care, your support and your example of what it means to have amazing brothers and sisters in Christ.

Now we turn our attention to mom and the tremendous changes that she will be experiencing.  To lose a partner after so many years...so difficult.  One of the saddest pictures from the whole experience was the one of mom walking out of Hospice with all of dad's possessions for the final time.  It makes my heart ache.

But she's leaning into her Heavenly Father and continues to encourage everyone else - an amazing women for sure!

Thanks for continued prayer!

reflections on preparing well

I watched a new team be born this year in preparation of our Christmas services.

Senior worship leaders mentoring younger worship leaders, faithful team members encouraging one another lending hours of their lives to prepare well, a technical team with a new leader solving problems and preparing earlier then ever before.  A new Pastor speaking to us even before he arrives using technology - also caring much about being part of this incredible opportunity to effect people for eternity.   Preparing well.

All God asks us for is our best.



And so tonight we all come together to offer as our Christmas gift to the Savior of the world, our preparation.

It is not just about what our team is ready to present...
-it's an entire ministry poised to welcome people as they arrive who may not have been in church for years, or ever...
-it's special treats for the children in attendance - carefully prepared by loving volunteers that value each child enough to interrupt their own busy Christmas preparations to give their offering of service to the Lord.
-It's volunteers cleaning so that our building God has given us is excellent before the Lord.
-It's men carefully placing each chair in the auditorium so that extras can be added
-it's each person taking hand-fulls of invite cards to invite their lost friends and neighbors
-and coffee hand-picked by the farmers we love in Guatemala all ground and ready to be served

This is His church preparing well

And tonight all of this preparation will become the service that begins the journey of the lost- toward a new born Savior.

fruitless yet rewarded

fruitless may seem worthless...

In my position I get the privilege of encouraging pastors and others in ministry.  You may say to yourself, "It must be nice to be in a position where you spend your days serving the Lord and others...an important job unlike mine just working for a boss that doesn't appreciate me..."

But the fact is that many times those in ministry toil their entire life never really seeing results - yet continue to serve because they are confident in their call none the less.

I read this recently from John Piper, 'When a young replacement asked a retired pastor of a small church how he had the endurance and strength of soul to keep on in the ministry all those years, he said, “The Lord measures the faithfulness of our labor, not our success. I look always to the Lord and not to man.”

There can be periods of life-quenching discouragement that comes from extended periods of apparent fruitlessness.  Over the past 17 years, I have seen our worship guys go through great discouragement over the lack of enthusiasm from our congregational worship.  We've spent time evaluating what we were doing, trying to make changes to make sure it wasn't us that was holding them back.   And then there would come breakthrough seasons like we are in now, where the worship has never been sweeter - the body seeming anxious to gather and worship together...  All we are required of the Lord to do, is to faithfully serve - never promised that we would even see results!

The prophet Isaiah was sent to minister to a people that God knew would not turn to Him.  Talk about a seemingly 'fruitless' season!  Isaiah said this, "I have labored in vain, I have spent my strength for nothing and vanity, yet surely my right is with the LORD and my recompense with my God. (Isaiah 49:4)

He knew regardless of their response, his reward rested in the Lord, it was the labor required - not success.

Please be encouraged today to continue the labor God has called you to!   Your reward rests in Him!

And continue to pray for us as we work through the process of choosing Crossroads' next pastor.

My prayer throughout the process has not only been for the man God has chosen for us , but for unity in the process.  A process that builds us stronger and closer to one another and to the Lord!  May our labor at Crossroads be sweet to the Lord!

weekend already?

I don't understand how it can be the weekend again?

ok, so we didn't realize half the wall would come off!

There has never been a month like this December has been, when I have no idea what day it is.  Probably not a good thing.  This morning I got up and started helping Jocelyn tear old tile off the walls of her kitchen.   I am now exhausted and realized it's almost time to head to Crossroads again.

I am now trying to be intentional for the next couple hours to prepare my mind and heart for worship.

My point is - we have to PREPARE to receive- to apply it to our lives.  In Frances Chan's book "Crazy Love" he says, "We've conditioned ourselves to hear messages without responding.  Sermons have become Christian entertainment.  We go to church to hear a well-developed sermon and a convicting thought.  We've trained ourselves to believe that if we're convicted, our job is done.  If you're just hearing the Word and not actually doing something with it, you're deceiving yourself."

I refuse to be deceived.  I'm anxious to give the Lord whatever portion of my life He reveals that needs to change.  In just a few hours I once again have been given the unbelievable opportunity of sitting under a pastor's teaching.  I'm ready!

more preciousness

Precious describes all the children we have had the privilege of meeting this week and a half! God's kids! Dar was immediately surrounded by precious children upon arriving.

Today we painted the Christian School in Phnom Penh - our team painted and loved kids, painted and loved kids - so much fun! Ron was reunited with all of his pastor buddies, it is so great to see the people you spend all year praying for !

Tonight we go to the Riverfront. I'm bracing for that as I hear the experienced team members describing the little ones we will see who are used in the sex trade...I am praying already.

If I have time later I may report a little bit more on details from our day .

a loss

As we watched our daughter perform at a local church's music festival tonight, we talked to some of the congregation while we watched. What we heard made us sad.

They talked about the fact that they just recently lost their pastor, he quit. They are devastated! They have lost several leaders and are really scared and struggling.

Now, one thing I know for sure after being in church my entire life, there is always two sides to every story, so I certainly do not know all the details. However, as I listened to this guy pour out his heart and concerns about the church he loved, my heart was broken for him.

Why is the church such a hotbed of trouble, arguments, intolerance and disrespect? Because the enemy knows if he can turn us against one another we will destroy ourselves - as well as our testimony. This of course makes our claims to know Christ look ridiculous and false. The lost want nothing to do with it.

I can only imagine how the Lord feels as He watches what we turn His church into! His church, the church He died for, the church He loves...

Please pray for Tom, the guy I talked to tonight. He was really hurting and longed for peace in his ministry.

How did I get here

So I'm sitting in the parking lot of a funeral home in Canton. I discovered they have wireless...

Anyway I have no idea how we got here, I mean in regard to this place in our lives.

As we pulled up I heard the parking attendant call my husband, "Pastor Ron"...oh man, how did we get here? One of the most impacting, memorable times in a person's life - the death of a loved one. How can we possibly be in charge of such an important event? Pastor Ron...so what does that make me? A Pastor's wife?? Wow... Don't missunderstand, Ron is not officially a pastor at least not in a techincal-degree sense. But his whole life he has been a pastor. He sees deep inside people, he knows what they feel, he cares for them instantly. He loves the Lord.

Ron took a round about way of arriving as our Membership guy, but he was always supposed to be there, he just had a small building project he had to oversee first. God's timing, impeccable, there is no arguing no resisting when you are called.

So that's how we got here. By following God's giftedness, His call. I have to go now, time to go support my husband, a man of God.