the why came quickly

I was talking to a dear friend recently and he said, "you have lived such a blessed life" and went on to talk about how he's messed up in the past describing what a mess his life has been several times.

I've been told this before, and I praise Jesus everyday for His protection and love and provision, but, it's  not that I haven't experienced loss like everyone else has, it's just the the 'why came quickly' for some reason.

At 56 years of age, I'm working hard to get to the place of maturity, that one of my first reactions to trouble is to look at the situation and ask, "I wonder where this will lead me and why God had to allow this to get my attention?"   I said I'm working to get to that point consistently!

As we talked and I listened to him confess his short comings and the times God had to get his attention. I remembered the times of testing and hurt in my own life, and then I remembered the why.

-I had a horrible local church experience growing up - God's hand held me tightly to the local church when I wanted so many times to walk away from the constant drama.
*I've worked in the local church for the past 18 years and volunteered in leadership since I was an adult.  God showed me beautiful support and care from the local church growing up, but also revealed ugly leadership and selfish behavior from leaders which clearly prepared me for future leadership and taught me how important TEAM work is in the local church.  Team leadership instead of personality driven ministry, demonstrates to the congregation and community true ministry - I love to imagine what the disciples conversations were in the evenings around dinner after a full day of ministering to people!

-We lost our first baby, I miscarried on the day we were starting our regular baby check-ups.
*Just a couple weeks after losing our baby, I was able to surround a praise team member going through the same thing.  She was nearly inconsolable - I know that's at least one of the reasons why God took my baby home, to be an example to her.

-I lost my brother at age 40 to a combination of physical problems, some of which he probably could have had more control over if he had been disciplined, so our sorrow was mixed with disappointment in his short physically troubled life and his lack of disciple and the loss of a young brother.
*I saw a rest and health return to my parents that I'm convinced would have deteriorated if my brother's care and worry about him had continued much longer.

-I am about to lose my pastor and 2 of my dearest friends and family
*God needs them in a bigger arena - to bring His love to more people then in Mansfield.  God needs them to move so the man He has already chosen can take their place.  I rest in this and refuse to look at this negatively AT ALL!   (And, I praise Him and thank Him that He only moved them a little over an hour away)

I certainly could go on and on with the negative things that have happened in my life, but I'm telling you, IF you are a child of God - everything works together for a reason, despite the time frame God chooses to reveal the WHY!  

He's just waiting for you to realize this isn't yours to handle and for you to release it to Him.

It's called Trust!

my day off

This has been a tremendous day!

An impromptu meeting with Pastor Tim and several others to discuss the details regarding our offering for Cambodia this past weekend.

A meeting right after at the Carousel Works to discuss final details about their open house in a couple weeks. (you can buy tickets in advance at the link above)

Late breakfast with hubby and son.

Then home and an hour long phone conversation with my daughter!

In reflecting about the weekend services here are three things out of many that I am very thankful for:

#1  Based on the congregation's response, they got it!

When you plan services it is very hard to judge if creative ideas will transfer into understanding.  And ideas that do not lead people toward understanding are pointless.

#2  There is great evidence of maturity within our congregation

The fact that the general giving was where it needed to be from a budget standpoint ON TOP OF the sacrificial giving toward the orphanage, proves our congregation is maturing in their personal walk with the Lord.

#3  I have never been more proud of our pastor

 Tim is like a younger brother to me.  I spent time with his older sister at their home when we were all still in school.  (He was often hanging upside down swinging from a tree or something when I was around).  Anyway, the pride I feel at the wisdom in the timing of this project cannot adequately be described.   I don't wait well at all, especially when I am passionate about something!

 Instead of rushing ahead too soon we waited and now you can just feel the Holy Spirit at Crossroads filling our people with an excitement I haven't seen often.  I cannot wait to fully see what God's obedient people gave to save these orphans!

Thank you all so much for giving and if you were not able to be with us this past weekend please watch our service so you are fully aware of all that went on!   www.crossroadswired.com

Oh and - it's not to late to give!

actors galore

We have a lot of new actors - now we just need dramas!

This was a very exciting night to see all the new interest in our drama team.

I am surprised each time we recruit that there could still be so many people just waiting to get involved. Serving is a huge maturity step and I am so thankful to watch all these new faces become lives I know well and get to be involved with. Best job ever!

working out

I do not like to workout. I love to walk and play sports - I do not like to work out! But I have never needed to more!!

I wrote a week or so ago about my daughter being a Turbo Kick instructor... so guess what? I'm doing Turbo kick classes and I am very sore tonight and exhausted.

It is fascinating to realize that God could have created us anyway He wanted to, and that could have included staying in shape without work. Instead He designed us to work, really for almost anything that is good.

Good health.
To make a good living.
To have good relationships.
And to be good.

Good health requires good decisions both in what we do and what we do not do.

A good living requires hard work and decisions based on honesty and good planning.

Good relationships take work and consideration and priority the entire time they exist.

And to be good...well, that is way beyond our own ability! Even with our most determined desire to work at Biblical study, maturity and to live obediently. It requires an indwelling of the Holy Spirit to give us any hope of goodness.

So as I finished my physical workout today, I am thankful that God didn't design us just to sit around, even though I am a little sore at the moment!

chasing maturity

In my study this morning, I studied one of the most encouraging passages in Scripture.

Hebrews 12:1-3
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

He endured this so I would not give up! Wow! Certainly nothing I have ever gone through comes close to this sacrifice God gave.

My study went on to discuss how we can sometimes be chasing meaningless "maturity practices" or goals that can take our focus completely off of Jesus himself. This was freeing to me, described my continuous discouragement at failed trys! Looking to Jesus, abide in Him is all He asks, no lists, no trying to live up to others expectations!

Spiritual disciplines are good things, striving to mature spiritually is a good thing, but then the author of my study went on to say this; "perhaps spiritual growth is actually as simple and natural as breathing, when our focus is on Jesus and not on the breathing itself..." profound!

He calls me to just be focused on Him, when my eyes focus elsewhere I become easily discouraged. I love Him, I live for Him, I trust Him and I pledge my focus and life purpose to Him!! Chasing maturity simply leads me into His arms.