fully present - is it possible?

I woke up at 2:00 a.m. today and could NOT get back to sleep.   So I finally gave up and got up and made a cup of tea, folded laundry and sat down at my computer.

As I looked over my work load, and wondered how my dad was doing at Hospice I wondered if it was ever a true possibility to be 'fully present' anywhere for anything?

Reading an email reminded me of something else I needed to schedule, which took me to my DayTimer which revealed something that had to be done the next day which caused me to add a reminder to my phone calendar which revealed another appointment that I really, really needed to reschedule......

How do you simplify life?

How do you fully focus on anything longer then a few minutes?

I heard on the radio yesterday that there has never been a time in history where depression and unhappiness has been as rampant as it is now in the US.  This was a secular station so I was curious to see what their solution would be.

They felt depression was being over-diagnosed and what it boiled down to in many cases, was simply 'having too much'!

They talked about young people being under tremendous pressure to know for sure what they wanted to spend their lives doing by age 25 when they already had more of everything then they would ever need.   Was there really any real reason to even seek a career when they already owned more by the time they graduated then nearly any other country in the world?

They described how young adults were bouncing from one thing to another seeking fulfillment and happiness in comparison to the satisfaction older adults found in stability and being satisfied with 1 or 2 jobs in their lifetime.  And how the older generations with less options were more able to fully focus on just a few things and were far more satisfied.

Interesting.

I've been wrestling with my lack at times of a longing for heaven.  I feel it's directly related to the distraction of too much stuff to take care of, and being very comfortable with my life.

My dad said yesterday, "I don't know how long I want to live like this", is that what it takes to get my focus on heaven and not the things of this earth?   Facing death?  How sad.

I'm anxious for Pastor Dave's teaching in this next series on heaven and hell - our final destination.  I haven't heard a teaching on this topic for a long time and it comes at a prime time for my family as we face the loss of my dad soon.

As we move into Psalm Sunday weekend and on to Easter next week - I long to be completely obsessed with my Savior.  and I plan to try my hardest to abide in Him...fully present...

sacrificial offerings

Today I was reading in Leviticus.  I try to read the Bible daily using the Daily readings that are posted on the Crossroads Facebook page,  http://www.esvbible.org/devotions/every-day-in-the-word/2013-02-20/.

The reading was in Leviticus and described the process of preparing and offering sacrifices to the Lord.  They were given unbelievably precise instructions from the Lord, how to do it, when to do it, what to use and what parts to burn etc.  I'm sure I would have forgotten something and done something wrong.

It made me very thankful for the simplicity that Christ's sacrifice brought to my life.  I've obviously thanked Him over and over for my salvation - but had never thought about what that physically meant to me, the time and preparation and ongoing work it relieved us of. 

He died a horribly excruciating and humiliating death and rose again - so that the need for me to continue to make sacrifices was removed forever.  Amazing.

the cross

While I was in Cambodia - a staff member who could NOT afford to do so, walked up behind me and placed a cross necklace around my neck.

This morning I removed it for the first time to wear another necklace.

As I looked at it in my hand, it dawned on me that God chose this form of death for His son.  Can you imagine choosing how your child would die?

He could have chosen an easier death for Him, a more private death for Him but didn't.

Did it take this horrifying a death just to get the human race's attention?  I know in that culture that form of death represented many things that were very much a part of God's decision.  But, it really hit me today as I looked at that cross in my hand -

how much I cost Him...