abide

I haven't had even a couple of minutes to write recently.   I'm sure it means I'm not managing my time well, but here I am!

I've been occupied by many things including being concerned by several people around me that have been ill recently.  One seriously ill, the others more 'regular' sick.

In thinking about them and what they're going through, I'm not sure if anything brings focus and inner reflection like illness does.

The most serious thing I've ever had to deal with were the 2 night-time seizures I had over the past 3+ years.  The only residual effect they had was my friends lecturing me about going to bed earlier and avoiding stress, waking up with a chewed tongue and being confused for a few minutes.  (wait, actually that's a daily thing!  ha ha)

I cannot imagine what it's like to go through illness that's life threatening!

I would think it is completely consuming as if life stands still - takes a time-out, while you watch the goings-on from a far.  Being around it should bring perspective to those of us watching - revealing how we should spend our precious few years here on earth.  And forcing an evaluation of how our time is being spent.

Looking at my day as I sit on my deck I wonder what was eternal about it?

My determination to try to the best of my ability to prioritize my days to reflect that God is first place in my life - as if His existence is the driving force behind my choices is renewed once again as I think about my friends and pray for them.

I would love to not only trust Him each day, but actually, completely ABIDE in Him.  So I leave you tonight and plan to study about abiding…what does that look like and require - and am I capable of it?

If you too study about how to live a life of abiding completely in Him - please comment and share the information you find with all of us!  Let's learn together as we do this life together!

what I learned today

I was reading this morning a chapter from a book I'm studying and this one sentence popped out to me, "one of the main ways God asserts Himself is in the timing of events".   So much unnecessary stress is caused by plunging ahead of Him, even when trying desperately to remain in His will! 

So, I can be pursuing His will and STILL be disobedient by doing things in my own timing.

He offers me rest, and no stress, it's not the circumstances that cause me problems, it's me creating my own agenda from a timing standpoint.

I could instead choose to just sit tight in His will and let Him do the navigating!

I can pictures it - awakening everyday with -- a peaceful soul - content in HIm, anxious in a healthy way to see what He'll reveal to me on this day.  Ready to obey but not at all concerned about the details beyond my daily responsibilities.

I continue to complicate His Calling, His life for me.

My brother (who is 9 years younger than I am), described me to a friend as being nearly 60 years old the other day…. this got my attention big time.  I keep so busy I don't fully grasp how important it is to choose wisely where and how to invest my life.

Those of you who read my blog hear me wrestle with this same BUSY issue over and over - I'm sorry that I talk about the same things so much.   But, when I began this blog it was to honestly document my life daily without worry about who was reading or even if anyone EVER read it.  So I continue to endlessly pour out my confession to Almighty God - about the longings of my heart and short-fallings of my days, hoping it can help especially younger believers not to make the same mistakes.  Before you know it you too will be 'nearly 60' and beginning to look back instead of forward at your whole life.

This realization of age is not a sad thing at all - but, a wake-up call to how quickly time is passing and I want my time to pass fully within Him - deeply within Him, for without the Lord our lives are completely pointless, COMPLETELY POINTLESS!  Let's live purposefully!

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 
MATTHEW 6 : 20 – 21

an excellent storm

I am sure that this cold snap has caused people problems, cost businesses money and is inconvenient in any number of ways... but, I consider it an excellent storm.

Vern's favorite spot...mine too!

Our home is quiet except for the loud crackling of the logs in the fireplace.

Our stomachs are full of crock-pot chicken wings and fresh salads and warm tapioca.

And my stress level is 0 as I blog next to our fireplace, the location that Vern has dedicated himself to!

God's weather has brought things to a stand still in some areas and at least a slower pace here, and I'm actually grateful.

What does it take to slow me down, to set me by a fire, to cook at home and write of my gratefulness?


Is the only way I obediently rest - when mother nature forces her hand or am I becoming smarter and more obedient?

I'd like to think the latter.

As I write tonight I praise my heavenly father for what surrounds me, for more than enough food, for warmth, for a husband of many years that I still adore and for His never ending love for me (even when I'm not as mindful of Him).

An excellent storm has brought a calm to my night and I could seriously
get used to this!

the honest truth

Some of you know I have had 2 night time seizures in the past 2 1/2 years.  I have been through a battery of tests this year all of which have returned to us normal - for which we're thankful.

Tuesday I have my last EEG and then the diagnosis we all assumed will probably be decided...stress and exhaustion.

Today I went in to my favorite Custom Pharmacy and Health Store to pick up more vitamins. 

One of the tests I had done was a saliva test that measures hormone levels and the Pharmacist wanted to talk to me about my test.  He looked at me and said , "you look tired".  He looked very unhappy.

So I followed him into his office and he proceeded to tell me what the results were - there weren't horrible just marginally low and then he said this, "if I could take your cell phone and computer away from you for 6 months and send you away, you would be a different person.  If you continue at this pace you are going to face serious health issues and I'm really worried about you..." 

ok then....

So what do I do with that??

When people that I respect tell me things I listen but i really don't know how to be something i'm not,,,

I'm not writing this for sympathy so please don't feel badly for me. it was just kind of surprising.

I guess I'll go to sleep now.