a sad morning

I was looking forward to waking up this morning knowing it was a day off, weather sounded like it was going to be glorious and I had minimal responsibilities.  I had my day planned.

However, as I was waking up I received an early text from a close friend asking me if I had seen the news yet.  I had not.

I turned on the news and the sights that greeted me turned my morning into a sad morning, a different morning than I had planned.

As I watched video of the complete panic, the fallen bodies and crying reports from news interviews in Las Vegas, I thought about the morning that was greeting at least 50 families with the news  of unexpected loss.  I prayed for the families that still may not be sure if their loved ones survived or not.  I can't imagine such terror.

We have a Crossroads' team serving in Texas to recover the loss of property and help to re-build the ability of families there to return to regular life following the hurricane and multiple tornadoes.

I also know one man from Crossroads who is serving in Puerto Rico as they attempt to even evaluate the level of loss they've experienced.

Why?  Why does God allow this to happen?

We believe we have a God who already knows these things will happen, a God that could prevent these things from happening, a God that created the very human beings that cause this type of tragedy - our human minds can't understand why.

Lee Strobel says this in regard to why God doesn't just stop evil from happening,
"So, first, it helps me to remember, as I ponder the mystery of pain and evil, that God did not create them. Though suffering isn’t good, God can use it to accomplish good. 

He does this by fulfilling His promise in Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  

Notice that the verse doesn’t say God causes evil and suffering, just that he promises to cause good to emerge."

It is the free hand of human beings that make evil things happen.   God allows free choice.   Our hands can create evil or care for the needy - it's our choice how we spend our lives.

Lee goes on to explain in regard to 'natural disasters' that "even nature groans over the disruption of God's perfect design -Romans 8:22 says, “We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.” 

My limited human mind can not understand the evil that caused Stephen Paddock to decide this shooting was the answer to whatever tortured him.  I'm sad to assume that this shooter will now spend eternity separated from God - another seemingly pointless existence.

But now those of us who know the Lord have another opportunity to encourage the lost toward a secure future with Christ.  Drawing closer to our God and pointing others to security in Him is the only thing that gives purpose to our lives here in an evil world.

Will you let tragedy draw you closer to Him?  Or will you become bitter over the act of a troubled human's actions last night?

fear or love

As I sat and read in Daniel this morning, I found myself battling once again between the pit in my gut that is fear, and the first hand experience I constantly have with God's love.

I've spoken before about how easy I am to control with fear.

I grew up with 'end times' sermons being screamed from the pulpit and over-conservative adult relatives that monitored every word I spoke and move I made, and felt it their duty to constantly report to my parents.

I'm easily controlled with fear and intimidation.

Obviously now as an adult I understand that God never intended for that kind of misuse of scripture to be used to control people and especially not to terrify kids.

As I sit on my deck this morning, praising the Lord for who He is, I remember again that what God wants from me is to long to be with Him.

Instead of worrying about all the horrible sin and corruption I see all around me, it should point my focus toward Him - creating within me a longing I cannot suppress to spend eternity in His perfect presence.

This morning - with no news blaring from the TV, and newspapers laying in front of me - I worshipped Him, I longed for His return, and He gave me again the assurance that everything I see around me should be no surprise coming from those who are lost and simply seeking for what will satisfy them.  And it will be so until He returns.

Despite the turmoil all around me, I sit in His peace this morning realizing this world is just a quickly passing jot in eternal time.  He's given me a few years to serve Him, and I will continue to fight against my fear and the distractions and abide in Him - fully in He love.

 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?  Psalm 27:1

many questions

(This picture is one of me working on a craft at the Christian School with some of the Phnom Penh orphans - such a blessed time. The other picture speaks for itself - how can these beautiful children be orphans? )

We have had a little time this afternoon to just kind of digest what has happened this past week..
I find I have many questions very unsettling.

I am thinking about the children we left just 2 days ago and the fact that when these children became orphans God knew they would have great influence on my entire family. It is overwhelming to begin to think about the omniscience of God. We see just a tiny bit of the overall life picture and certainly have little understanding or grasp of anything eternal. That is obvious in how we live each day.

I feel I have been given a glimpse of eternal things here - these pastors, school teachers, orphanage directors all spend everyday trying to teach the things of God to a completely pagan society. It may be the adults who have touched me even more than the children this week, if that is possible. These precious adults face a society so dark Christianity barely exists...in fact statistics say MAYBE 1 percent of Cambodia practices or even has knowledge of Christianity. So the glimpse into eternity is a glimpse of separation from God for all of eternity. Staggering and heartbreaking!

God has chosen to allow families at Crossroads to get personally involved in influencing little ones toward their Creator and helping our pastors survive - how did we get chosen for such an opportunity as this?

I also have questions about a few beautiful children last night that I saw be taken by the hand of evil men on the streets of Phnom Penh, men who care only about their own desires. Our BB3 orphanage protects our little ones very lives - by keeping them safe from this trade. However, there is one older brother currently trying to get his 4 younger siblings released from Asia's Hope for this very purpose and everyone knows it. He will probably not be successful in getting them because Asia's Hope does everything legally required to protect them until age 18. But pray for these precious children, 3 girls and one little boy, who's own family intends evil toward them should they be re-united.Several of the men on our team have told the Asia's Hope director that they will help in anyway they can if this brother continues to harass his siblings.

This isn't a pretty place, and I don't want to give the impression that we just came over here and hugged our children and everything is perfect now...that is not the case. It's life and death, evil against good and the difference between idol worship leading to eternal damnation vs the Awesome, Loving, Savior, Father God that they must be told about!

The good thing about the evil here is it is obvious, darkness is everywhere. The greater tragedy perhaps exists back home where things are so 'gray' as Pastor Tim just taught about. Anything goes - watch what you want - eat what you want - spend what you want...whatever makes us happy. It's the debt we all have ourselves in that binds us completely, allowing no generosity to exist because even in our overwhelming wealth we want more.

I believe God has obviously placed each one of us exactly where He wants us so there is no guilt in having much - but we have got to realize that we are completely deceived by the evil one into feeling content and entitled to all that we have. Instead, all that we have has been given to us to be good stewards over so that we are free - not bound.

What makes me the most sad about this trip is how much I didn't get it when Ron has returned each year from over here. Each time he got back we were right back into the middle of stuff and busyness giving him no time to re-adjust and adequately express his experience. I regret that deeply, but I guess I just had to experience it myself in order to connect with him on this level. I should have gone long ago - I wish I had gone with him long ago. But again, it was God's timing - this year was the year God chose for me to come and so I did and I pray that I remain fully devoted to the values I now feel are most important.

...devoted to the local church as well as to this place. I love them both more than I can possibly say...and I truly believe one will not exist without the other.