Sunday, December 14, 2008

early morning

Don't you hate it when you wake up earlier than your alarm? Such was the case for me today. I am very tired and yet couldn't sleep.

I woke up in a dead sweat worrying about my kids again. Oh, they don't really give me any reason for worry, they are awesome, just typical "how will they ever support themselves in this economy, how will they ever be able to pay off their college loans"... type of worry. So I have laundry going and I am emptying the dishwasher, but I have a feeling this early morning awakening wasn't just by chance.

Worry 1. to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret.

Interesting that the definition says to oneself, this implies worry is indeed a choice. Wow, something else to feel guilty about! (My very, very conservative Christian background kicking in again). Simply said, I think worry just means I don't trust God.

Pastor Tim taught last night about King Ahaz teaming up with a pagan King instead of placing his trust in God. He even took treasures from the Temple and gave them as a gift to a pagan king. Gee I wonder what was going to be his ending!

This made me think, when I "choose" to worry instead of falling to my knees to give it over to God, isn't it kind of the same thing. I make a choice everyday, will I trust the Almighty, Wonderful, Counselor, Everlasting Father God, or will I team up with the enemy because I insist on worrying and taking matters (even small matters) into my own hands?? What a slap in His face!

This whole Christmas thing with Jesus coming to earth didn't happen just so I could accept Him to secure my eternity. He came offering me the choice to spend my whole life with Him, His offer is to daily allow me to walk with Him, to trust in Him, to find my whole purpose for existence in Him. So what do I do instead, worry! I owe Him another apology!

When I worry I say no to Him, maybe He woke me up today to get me focused on saying yes so I wouldn't give the treasures of the day to our enemy...

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