I haven't studied enough this week, so tonight was so welcome...
First I came across a reminder that We didn't choose God, He chose us! The disciples were busy helping their earthly fathers fish among other various jobs and activities. Jesus chose them and called to them to follow Him. I grew up believing that my spiritual life was totally in my hands. This was always very hard for me to buy into mostly because I know myself so well. And believe me, I'm not capable of saving myself, of deciding when the time is right, or living well enough to get to the place I could ever face Him. He chose me, I'm convinced of it.
As I went on in study in John 19, I read through the place where Jesus speaks from the cross and talks to John concerning the care of his mother. How amazing that He would have been so concerned with that as He was dying. It had been a long time since I thought about how difficult it was for Jesus to even breath hanging on the cross, let alone speak. He cared so much more about those standing around the foot of the cross then himself. That is why He was willing to die.
We have heard it before, He could have taken himself off the cross, "He could have called 10,000 angels" (blast from the past), but He didn't. He chose us...He chose me...that is really hard to wrap your head around, of all the people who have ever lived or will ever live He chose us! Wow!!