after 54 years

You would think after 54 years I would have a ton of self control and maturity.  I swear sometimes I feel like I'm going backward!

This week I have experienced the full range of emotions and opportunities to react in a Godly manner and have failed miserably in several cases.

I can only assume this calls for more dedicated time to study and to be quiet and listen instead of endlessly giving my opinion and adding constant comments.  Deep in my heart I honestly don't believe that I know it all - not even close to what I should know.  And yet I feel free to share what I think and try to control situations instead of just waiting on the Lord.

I sometimes can't hear Him through all my chatter...

And still He chose to bless my week!

*Despite all my noise He brought me unexpected gifts this week.
     A friend stopped by the church and said I was on her mind and gave me a beautiful unexpected gift!

*He gave me new offers of help and serving in the ministry.
     Friends that already serve decided to bless our staff with the offer of lunch once a month!
     Another friend serving in my area said his son was now interested in getting involved!

*He gave me a great outcome to one difficult situation.
      God blessed me with quick results from what started out difficult.  Some times it may take tons of           time before we have understanding about why something happened.  This week God allowed me to see amazing resolution quickly!  I saw the 'why' right away!

*I received approval for a creative event I hope to plan for next year.
      This feeds my creativity.  I am thankful for these opportunities!



My prayers for several years now have been simple to the Lord.

Reveal has been the word I have used more times than I can possibly count.

-In regard to myself:  Reveal my sin Lord
                                  Reveal how you want me to spend my life.  (I beg Him almost daily)

-Where I see brothers and sisters walking away from the Lord:  Reveal their wrongs Lord

-In regard to our ministry:  Reveal my leadership weakness Lord - never let me lead someone away from you...  I'm not sure anything scares me more than the thought of someone watching me.  How I act, how I work, how I live and walking away from the Lord because of me...

After 54 years I am still learning, I am still failing and I am still in desperate need of my Savior every single day.  The biggest change in me?  My desire for relationship with Him grows every single year.  And every passing year I move one year closer to an eternal audience before Him!!!