Friday, October 21, 2011

morning breakdown - keyword BREAKDOWN

I went to bed thinking I would get up early and get a ton of work done before a 10:00 a.m. meeting.  

After punching (literally) the alarm 5 times I missed even being there on time!  But to offset my fail at rising early I decided to dress up a bit - red heals.  Nice start.

I then decided to make a healthy banana shake - this was definitely at the expense of my sleeping son as ice cubes caused a huge racket and a caustic smelling odor to rise from my struggling blender.  I hoped the health benefits would out-way the loudness and destruction of my blender.

Finally I made my way to the car - fumbling with all that I of course tried to carry at one time instead of making trips - away I drove.  In the flurry of leaving I now realize I forgot my phone.  And, if any of you know me you know this has completely ruined my day...

Arriving at work I realized I was still lacking makeup... so sat a few more minutes in my car preparing a face that you don't want to see without adequate coverage.  That being done realizing that it was pouring now instead of misty, I turned and fished my umbrella out of the back door holder.

Umbrella out the door - opened to protect the hair I had spend at least 5 minutes preparing for the day - I placed one red shoe out the door and proceeded to drop my precious banana protein shake on the ground - which in turn proceeded to shoot straight up coating my door, my London Fog coat and my slacks straight up the leg and all the way up the inside seam to the crotch.  The puddle surrounding my bright red pump resembled vomit.  The only positive aspect of this fiasco was at least if anyone questioned why I was home sick yesterday it made it look so badly that I was sure they would send me back home out of pity!

With head and foot back in the car I worked to wipe everything including myself off with those pathetically small kleenex that they somehow cram into those teeny tiny plastic purse packs.  This did remove the upper layer of slush leaving instead a horrible amount of lint behind to remind me of the earlier mess.

With this behind me I entered the church.  In place of my lovely banana protein shake I made horribly bland plain oatmeal - sat that safely in my office before heading to the restroom. Not realizing that my heals (which I never wear) were still wet, I slipped on the tile floor and tweaked my knee.

Limping to my office I quickly pulled my little door blind down before anyone could see me and have been hiding ever since.

I have a meeting in a few meetings which I suddenly find terrifying wondering what I will experience next...

The moral of the story?  Don't wear heals on a rainy day or ever and eat lots of junk food...healthy isn't worth the effort.

Have a nice day!

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