What will change

Every event in our lives bring change, all you have to do is watch for them, and walk into them.  So as I lay here in the dark of my Cambodian room I wonder what changes God has waiting for my heart today?

We walked the killing fields earlier.  The same path that thousands had walked the day the truck pulled up and emptied them out blindfolded and terrified.   The same path down which men and women were walked that one day had regular flourishing careers and lives and the next day were taken from their homes by an evil man's desire for complete power.  He wasn't a brave man, he was a coward with the ability to manipulate others behind an idea of power.  As thousands were slaughtered he enjoyed the wealth of a selfish leader with his family and grandchildren as if nothing was going on - unbelievable. 

I can only assume that Satan fully possessed the men that lead these atrocities against mankind - there is no other explanation.  

I have lived in complete freedom my entire life and as always when I come here I wonder why God chose me to live this way instead of bondage.

There is another kind of bondage - the bondage of too much.  Our minds fool ourselves into thinking nothing evil exists beyond the little world that concerns us.  This bondage causes the very people that poccess the ability to help others, not to.  We wallow in our plenty and are satisfied.

I don't want to live merely satisfied.  In fact the word itself suggests 'settling'...how sad if I remain there.

I pray this trip feeds a deep dissatisfaction within me that burns my entire life.  I want to 'see' outside myself, to know why I was created and to fulfill God's desire for the days he's numbered as my life.

This kind of desire and search is simply an openness, an willingness to change, will you join me and begin to search your heart?