Thursday, May 24, 2012

swallowed by stillness

I have been sitting completely motionless outside and was immediately swallowed by glorious silence for a handful of long summer moments.  A deep exhale and rest has begun.

It is crazy when you sit out this time of the night, you can literally watch it become dark.  Minute by minute it darkens until the earth also rests.

The silence was finally broken by a sudden burst of air through the trees in the woods that lay behind us.  So God broke His own silence - I didn't - how awesome and how unusual.

Maybe I resist stillness because of what it reveals.

The heart and all it longs to reveal is not known in noise, it can stay hidden and unknown for as long as the noise continues. Silence the noise and all is exposed.

Exposure is good.  It allows healing and cleansing and forces honesty.  Only then are we changed.

It seems a contradiction that the same God that wants me to seek rest in Him created this busy mind of mine that constantly struggles to focus and rest.  Ever moving on to something new while wishing to remain in the familiar just a little longer.  He uses my weakness and in it He is glorified - not in my strength for my strength is something I have created and it's false and wanes constantly and then is gone.

Thankfully He takes me as I am and holds me with nail scarred hands - His strength is enough to make even the stillness powerful and fulfilling and transforming.

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