Tuesday, May 6, 2014

the why came quickly

I was talking to a dear friend recently and he said, "you have lived such a blessed life" and went on to talk about how he's messed up in the past describing what a mess his life has been several times.

I've been told this before, and I praise Jesus everyday for His protection and love and provision, but, it's  not that I haven't experienced loss like everyone else has, it's just the the 'why came quickly' for some reason.

At 56 years of age, I'm working hard to get to the place of maturity, that one of my first reactions to trouble is to look at the situation and ask, "I wonder where this will lead me and why God had to allow this to get my attention?"   I said I'm working to get to that point consistently!

As we talked and I listened to him confess his short comings and the times God had to get his attention. I remembered the times of testing and hurt in my own life, and then I remembered the why.

-I had a horrible local church experience growing up - God's hand held me tightly to the local church when I wanted so many times to walk away from the constant drama.
*I've worked in the local church for the past 18 years and volunteered in leadership since I was an adult.  God showed me beautiful support and care from the local church growing up, but also revealed ugly leadership and selfish behavior from leaders which clearly prepared me for future leadership and taught me how important TEAM work is in the local church.  Team leadership instead of personality driven ministry, demonstrates to the congregation and community true ministry - I love to imagine what the disciples conversations were in the evenings around dinner after a full day of ministering to people!

-We lost our first baby, I miscarried on the day we were starting our regular baby check-ups.
*Just a couple weeks after losing our baby, I was able to surround a praise team member going through the same thing.  She was nearly inconsolable - I know that's at least one of the reasons why God took my baby home, to be an example to her.

-I lost my brother at age 40 to a combination of physical problems, some of which he probably could have had more control over if he had been disciplined, so our sorrow was mixed with disappointment in his short physically troubled life and his lack of disciple and the loss of a young brother.
*I saw a rest and health return to my parents that I'm convinced would have deteriorated if my brother's care and worry about him had continued much longer.

-I am about to lose my pastor and 2 of my dearest friends and family
*God needs them in a bigger arena - to bring His love to more people then in Mansfield.  God needs them to move so the man He has already chosen can take their place.  I rest in this and refuse to look at this negatively AT ALL!   (And, I praise Him and thank Him that He only moved them a little over an hour away)

I certainly could go on and on with the negative things that have happened in my life, but I'm telling you, IF you are a child of God - everything works together for a reason, despite the time frame God chooses to reveal the WHY!  

He's just waiting for you to realize this isn't yours to handle and for you to release it to Him.

It's called Trust!

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