much needed reading

I cannot even remember a night when I sat in front of my fireplace reading (yes, iBooks count).  Tonight was that night!  This fills my heart with praise and renews my deep desire to learn everything I can!!

I read many, many free samples of books trying to decide exactly what to purchase.

One sample of a book I was considering said this, An environment devoid of sin also meant an environment devoid of human names.  Since the original man and woman knew who God was, they also knew who they were.  Names were unnecessary until sin entered the Garden of Eden.  A fractured relationship with God meant a fractured understanding of who God was now existed.  And immediately after they sinned, Adam named Eve.  Interesting.

It made me think about our names.  In most countries names describe a person.  Such as 'guy with a limp' or 'tall monster man' ...ok probably not real but you get the idea!  America gives her children 'pretty or popular' names, often at great cost to the child being named.  Names go out of style quickly, even some last names I have heard are somewhat inappropriate!  

Then there are the names people give us - now these usually are based on a characteristic or behavior or physical feature we wish we didn't have!  'Big foot' or 'red' or 'blabber mouth', just to name a couple possible taunting names.  These are the names we spend a lot of time running away from.  Slowly over time the possibility exists that we will never escape allowing these to become a permanent part of us.

So...did God's perfect plan include us being so intimately connected to Him that no name was needed?  He certainly knows those He creates!  Just thought I'd throw a question at you.  Food for thought.

how did you behave

Today a friend was telling me about his horrible day.  He described all the crazy projects he was working on and also told me that he had gotten into an altercation with two maintenance guys.  Made my day look boring!

We laughed and said life would be easy if it wasn't for people!

It made me review my own day and wonder how I had behaved toward my friends, family and co-workers.  The words that describe how I behaved today are as follows:

• adamant
• up and down (worked on the lift in the auditorium) 
• bossy
• hurrying
• friendly
• supportive
• determined
• uncertain
• disappointed
• thankful
• hungry
• full
• determined
• excited
• dancing
• goofing off
• determined
• apologetic
• encouraging
• tired

Today's decisions, words and behavior are now a part of eternity, they can't be re-done or taken back.  That makes tomorrow even more important, another chance Lord willing - to be an example of Christ's love to those around me.  I long for those I come in contact with to want to know Him by watching how I behave!

need to create

I really need to create a lot of different things this week.  But, I underestimated the toll that Christmas would take on me this year.

I still cannot figure out why the details of the services themselves felt so overwhelming this year.  I plan to really evaluate to see what I should have done from a preparation standpoint to eliminate the stress.

I guess it was largely due to only having about 5 hours sleep each night.  I felt rather panicked, like we had to hurry and cram as much as possible into each day.

We had a lot of extra people in our home through the last week or so.  Maybe I was more used to empty nest then I realized, having a house full of people was a blast yet caused me to feel tired.  Tonight boxes are gone, floors are swept and most of the Christmas decorations are packed away.  So I'm feeling more organized again!

But, still not feeling creative.

I will create anyway.  Most of the time if I just start the process God opens the idea doors and it comes flooding to me and our creative team.   So I say goodnight, and it's off to get 6 or so hours and begin again in the morning.

PS if you get particularly creative tomorrow and your idea would be a good support for a 'family' teaching series - send me a link!  Good night.

new normal

What do you consider a normal day?  I officially declare, there is no such thing!

Normal : conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.


What standard?  Who creates the standard that determines if it's normal or regular or natural?


I am not referring to Biblical standards  - those are non-negotable.  I am simply asking who decides what normal, or standard or regular is?  


Our normal changed again over the holidays as our daughter and husband and entire band moved to Mansfield, at least through the end of the summer!  My house is full of all they accumulated whole in Boston and today all of their things began to be moved to their new home here in town.


So my normal changed for the good with both of our kids within an hour of us.  Blessing indeed!


This change means:

• Turbo kick classes begin at Crossroads again next week (hopefully tuning up this tired body)
• Tuesday coffee meetings at Panera begin next week - she is working on her plans for Cambodia and I am writing
• Regular drives to Columbus to be with Eric and Alyssa...and to shop of course!
• Endless talking with all four of our kids and spouses about the future, the Lord and what could be

So our normal has changed again, which I guess means it isn't normal because normal requires that there are no changes...whatever, you get the idea.

I will write tonight...

Stand by you faithful readers!

 I am still just tied up in the details of tearing down Christmas at home and at Crossroads - and setting up a new set design and household for those Boston relatives who have returned.

I will write tonight - thanks for reading it means a lot to me!  Love you all!

reflections on tonight

Tonight was the first night of our Christmas services.  As I prepare to sleep - I am mulling over all that we experienced.

I was standing on the stage when the doors opened and people came pouring in.  Every seat was soon full..  This took my breath away...well, actually filled my breath with praise!

Just after doors opened to being - fire alarm went off.  Ok, so maybe we got just a little bit excited with the haze... We evidentially have an alarm activated by smoke versus heat.  Probably a great idea in detecting fire earlier than waiting for the heat to reach a certain degree.  But, on this night not so great.

After shutting the alarm off and calling the alarm company to ask them not to respond, we realized that the air conditioner unit over the stage automatically shut off because it was the unit that detected smoke within it's  ducts.  This caused us all to scramble to reset the breaker kicking the unit back on.  Without this unit it is almost intolerable on stage under all the lights.

Next, I got a call from the green room asking me if I had removed the bassoon players 'reed' which she had left soaking in a cup of water.  Of course the answer was yes, I always do a last minute sweep of the stage removing glasses, paper, jackets or instrument cases.  The problem was, when I picked up the glass I couldn't tell there was a reed floating in it due to the lights on the stage being down.  I ran down the back hallway, entering backstage frantically waving a singer to take the cup to it's owner just in time for the bassoon to be featured.

Finally back in the auditorium I began my usual pace back and forth across the rear of the auditorium listening, listening, listening considering sound suggestions, watching, always watching for changes that should be made to ensure a smoother, distraction-free delivery of the music or transitions between.  I realized that I was wearing a scowl on my face as I scrutinized each note.  I tried to relax.

As the last song picked up tempo - the audience joined in spontaneously and 'drove' the tempo faster and faster and then it was time for people to stream back out.  It was over.  The hours of preparation behind us. I watched as people hurryied off to their homes where Christmas preparations were in their final hours.

We had them, for just this hour.  Did we take advantage of this precious time?  Did our work make a difference?  This is not for us to know.  It makes no difference if we ever know - all I do know is this is a privilege and tonight for one hour - we offered the Christmas child, our King, our very best.

making it last

Usually by this time in the Christmas holidays I am finished with things and almost ready to be done with all of it.  This year it has been very different.

This year I feel such excited anticipation for our services at Crossroads and for family time,  that I want it to last longer.  So how to make it last?

I'm not telling you this to make you think I'm some wonderful Christian that has all these perfect moments, I tell you this only to encourage you to look for opportunities to 'invest in minutes' this Christmas.  I was alone in the auditorium of Crossroads today for a few moments and I got to walk up and down the aisle imagining who may come on Christmas Eve and what might be going on in their lives.  I  prayed for them, whoever they are.

I know many of our staff spend time praying in our auditorium, but I rarely have alone time in there.  It was awesome and it made me realize THIS is how you slow things down.  You find moments when busyness is absent and you hang on to them and abide in them.  You don't talk, you don't hurry, you walk around with hands hovering just above chair tops and pray and wait.  You ask God to fill this place and change lives for eternity.

As I heard that familiar bar on the entrance doors to the auditorium push open, I returned to my work on stage and remained in quiet preparation for just a little while longer before music, and talking and work related questions began to come once again.

I am now finishing details for our New Years Service and then going to wrap some gifts and it will soon be over for another year, but at least for a little while today it felt slower and special...