Tuesday, February 16, 2016

a quiet acceptance

How suddenly life can change.

Our lives have moved from occasionally discussing our inevitable death, to knowing what the cause of dad's will probably be in an instant.

My dad was diagnosed with Leukemia last week, 3 days later, chemo has begun.

As I sat with mom and dad for the second morning at the cancer clinic, I noticed how very quiet it was.  I looked again across the room at all of the patients just quietly lounging in their recliners as the slow drip of life sustaining fluid entered their bodies.

No music, TV only IF you wear headsets in honor of the surrounding patients' quiet reflection.

I wondered what their minds were thinking?  What things are most important to them now?
I look at completely hopeless faces here as well as faces with a quiet smile perhaps resting in their assurance of what comes next in the Lord?  But, oh so quiet...

As it has been with our family always - we are probably the noisiest ones there - choosing the chair furthest in the back of the room so dad can face the outdoors he loves so much instead of worrying about bothering all the people with our conversations..  I quite unexpectedly was moved to tears when I looked outside.

Through the window of the clinic I saw a totally unintentional design left by the snow plow truck. Although unintentional to him, perhaps the Lord had great intention for it.  I believe it was created just for me - no one saw it but me...He loves me it said - and the assurance of Him being fully aware of our circumstances washed over me!  A sustaining assurance.

After marveling at His love for me, I turned back to what lies before us.

Our acceptance of this new development balances somewhere between it still not being a reality to focusing on what needs to be done.

This could be the thing in our lives that the Lord will choose to use to reveal Himself more than He could through any other circumstance.  I hope He will find us worthy.

My prayer is first of all asking the Lord to provide comfort for my dad and then my mom.  But secondly that this can be a glorious time before Him when faith becomes sight in His perfect timing and that we can be used as an illustration of God's strength and the ultimate hope for eternity with Him.

Meanwhile a quiet acceptance will be what we continue to work through asking all of our friends to be patient with us as our focus will surely drift away from things we normally would attend to.

And last of all my precious dad says "well kiss old Rose,  that many people are praying for ME?"

Thank you my friends.

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