Saturday, November 23, 2013

I'm often distracted

I probably get the most frustrated with myself when I get distracted.  Facebook, Twitter etc I can turn off.

My distractions are often things that cross my path that are none of my business, but I make them my business by trying to solve problems or asking dumb questions when I have PLENTY to do right in front of me.  It's often shocking to remember the world can survive without me managing everything…

recently I've had to confess to the Lord that I'm dwelling on things that feel unfair.

Like how our kids are working like crazy to pay baby bills and to secure a future for themselves while others we know similar in age choose not to marry, not to work and let the government pay for baby, send them to college free and put food on their tables, food that they are physically more then capable of working for.

Now with my mom's illness I can go down that path again.  She's loved the Lord and served Him faithfully her entire life - why cancer - feels unfair.  Then I realize how that line of thought must cause the Lord to be so disappointed in me.  Because if I had His Words hidden in my heart I would remember that the greatest reward for a life well lived is to be in His presence.  To be spared from evil here on earth.

To stand in front of Him and hear "well down my good and faithful servant" coming out of his mouth should make it the deepest desire of my heart, to get out of here, to be present with Him.

But the distractions of my life here on earth tantalize my attention away from Him - away from a deep understanding of how pale all of this is in comparison to Him.

My prayer today is for singular focus, and that I'll have an unquenchable desire for Him that deadlines, and gossip, and problems can't cause me to be distracted.

  1. extreme agitation of the mind or emotions.
    synonyms:frenzy, hysteria, mental distress, madness, insanity, mania;

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